We have two sides, one altruistic, one not so much. Two dichotomous wolves live within us. Which one should you feed? “The one you feed is is the one that will grow,” is a phrase I have heard from time to time. I think there is a lot of truth in it. However, this phrase does not indicate which one to feed, or how much. I think it’s easy to assume we should only feed the “unselfish, nice” wolf, the friendly one not the dangerous one. Not true! Feeding them both is important. Their portions are up to you.
Right off the bat, I must make a clear distinction. Our unselfish/agreeable and selfish/disagreeable sides do not correspond to good and evil. Self preservation and the ability to fight have nothing to do with evil. Evil is characterized by taking pleasure in the pain and suffering of others, and practicing lies and deceit; resentment fuels it. Everyone is capable of evil, the capacity and potential is within each person. Scary stuff indeed.
Whether weak of strong, evil is still evil. The same is true for the good, whether weak or strong goodness is still good. So, don’t confuse strength or the ability to fight as good or evil.
The best people I have met, the ones whom I admire and respect have a dangerous side, a tough side, they can do battle. But, they choose peace and kindness as a matter of course; they can be fierce and formidable when needed (e.g., when resentment, deceit, or, malevolence and sadism emerge), across multiple dimensions of competence – physically, mentally or spiritually. They are not pushovers, they have fed and developed both of their wolves and are in balance. They can kick some ass, so to speak.
Jung talked about incorporating the shadow, and Jordan Peterson speaks about this concept being crucial to personal development. Recently, we (Guy Reams and I) spoke with a famous world class runner. This person is really upbeat, kind, friendly, open and motivated as a person. Yet, he shared with us his practical use of that “dangerous wolf” within him when he is runs a race. For example, fans will join him and run along side during endurance races. They adore him and want to run with him, and help him win. Indeed they do, although ironically not from encouragement or camaraderie (although he appreciates that), but though sparking his will (that competitive aggressive wolf ) to beat them and leave them in the dust, so to speak. They help him win by activating his aggressive competitive wolf.
Feed both of your wolves. Become competent and dangerous AND kind and loving. Something to think about as we develop ourselves.
Ben Wagner (251)
Member The365Commitment
