There is a piece of advice that I got from a childhood friend years ago that has always stuck with me. I remember the exact conversation. We had met each other when I was 5 years old and he was 6 years old. We lived next door to each other and we played together a lot. I always viewed him as so much more mature than I, but in reality he was only 6. Funny how big a difference a year makes when it is 1/5 of your entire life! He did cool things, like pee on the side of the neighbors house, ride a skateboard standing up and using words you were not supposed to. Anyway, we moved away, but our parents stayed connected. I would see him three more times throughout my life until lost contact when I was in my late teens. He was always teaching me things, giving me the facts of life so to speak. I remember him coming out to visit me in Colorado. He was California Punk Rock, I was John Denver in hand me down corduroy.
Then I moved back to Cali. I was a Sophomore in High School. I met him for the last time. He was all grown up, a Senior in High School now. He gave me the last piece of advice. Out of all his previous recommendations, this one actually stuck home. After all he taught me a few bad words, taught me why girls might be good and how they might be bad, he helped me understand how my parents could be great people to listen to and a little of why they should not. He taught me to jump a fence, and how to break in to the public swimming pool. He taught me what groups to hang out with in school. I was ignorant to why the stoners could never mix with goths. Go figure. What would I have ever done without my childhood mentor?
The one piece of advice he gave, and I remember very vividly the moment he told me, was “pick and stick.” He told me you did not need a bunch of friends in school. You did not need to be Mr. Popular. You did not need to be everything to everyone. Rather you should pick one or two good friends and stick with them. Stay with that friend through thick and thin, good and bad and you will end up better off then had you tried to be friends with everyone else. A person you pick and stick with would be friends for life, all the others would just use and abuse your eagerness to their own benefit.
It was amazing how right he was. I ultimately did find a friend that I picked and stuck with, glad that I did. Now that I am older, I realize this applies to more than just your spouse or your best friend. It can also apply to people at work, or clients, or employees, or managers. Pick and stick is a mentality of loyalty and dedication. I think it works great when the feeling is mutual. When two greats, pick and stick with each other, magic happens. Hewlett and Packard. Jobs and Woz. Gates and Allen. Cheech and Chong …. er…uh.. never mind bad example. Anyway, I like this mentality still to this day. I am staying with it. When I find good people in my life journey, I stick with them.
Guy Reams
When we look back on our journey we can see the ripple effect of our decisions and relationships. Maybe the “Butterfly Effect”: the concept that minor decisions and events can have large, widespread consequences. I think my taking that MSJC Advisory Meeting at Marie Calendars in 2002 – instead of Pat Comerchero – and meeting you was one of these events that shaped lives and events to this day. I hope everything is going well for you and your family in this age of COVID. Stay well!
All is well and I am glad I decided to go to that meeting as well!