We have this vague notion that the best way to overcome fears is to face them. Is it enough to just face them, or do you have to turn face them and then defeat them? I had this experience growing up of facing a neighborhood bully. I also remember getting punched in the stomach really hard and was bent over in pain gasping for breath as the bully and his friends walked away laughing at my desperate attempt to be brave. However, when our child comes to us with a fear we tend to tell them that they have to face their fears and overcome them. If we do not, then our child tends to withdraw and run from challenge and fear of failure. I guess I am stronger for that gut punch, no one saw what happened, but I remembered.
Many of us have demons of a different kind. Gone are the days when I am afraid of that creepy doll crawling out of the toy box and slowly making its way to my bedside (well, actually I still do have that fear which is why I am really uncomfortable with the number of dolls my daughters have accumulated over the years – I am surrounded!). My demons are much more sinister now. They are more akin to the boggart from Harry Potter. We all have them, they are there. Some are silent, some are loud, some are easily seen, and others are not. Here is a question – do you know what demons you have?
In the screwtape letters, Screwtape convinces Wormwood that the best plan is to let the person think they are doing great, to avoid reasoning and identifying questions and concerns that might cause you to stumble. Just accept the obscure notion of rightness and accept blindly. The concept of facing anything head on, would according to the demon Screwtape be horrifying, because then in fact the human soul may actually articulate meaning behind their faith. So you may have a demon to face, but you have expertly and with great effort been brushing this under the carpet for a while now. Even the very thought of facing it, causes you to recoil immediately with your prepared excuse.
Try it. Separate your mind for a few moments from your day to day reality. Turn the TV, music, distractions off and sit quietly and ask yourself this question – what is really holding me back? The thought will come, probably the right one. However, watch what happens. Your brain immediately kicks in and you have deftly inserted an excuse or a reason not to face it and you are already down the path searching for an easier, less difficult one to grapple with. Stop right at that point and rewind. It is that demon that requires great evaluation. That is the one you have to face, eventually, if you want to progress.
This thinking led me to running and exercise. I am not saying that demon is conquered yet, but I have made great progress and I think I have the upper hand now. The challenge now is that I have to realize that there uglier, more powerful demons at play and am I willing to face those? I almost shudder at the thought. Maybe it is time to symbolically lock myself in room at night with a bunch of American Girl dolls staring at me. Maybe it is time to face my irrational fears head on. Overcoming challenges in life required bold and decisive action, turning and facing them. Understanding the fear for exactly what it is, seeing it for what it really is and then acting decisively to defeat it.
Image Courtesy of the the YouTube Personality: agoverseafan
I actually do not even want to talk about ‘IT.’ You probably will not either. I can say with confidence, however, that we all have fears. We all have something in our way that we avoid dealing with. I am doing it already. I have a vague concept pop into my mind while writing this of what this demon is that prevents me from going to the next level, and I am already moving on with the subject. My fingers unwilling to type it out, in fear that I will then be required to face it! This can be something really obvious to others and you are the last to know. If I asked my wife what my greatest demon was, she would probably identify it in seconds. Ask someone you know and love to do the same evaluation for you. Get ready, their first thought will be something that requires exploring.
Overt things are easier to recognize and easier to solve for. You may not think so if you are facing one of the demons known as addiction, over indulgence, or similar. However, these are common and there is lot of help out there because many, many humans have faced and conquered these demons before. The harder ones are more subtle, more psychological. They are really scary, because they are not something you can just stop, or go get help for. They are part of you, part of your upbringing, part of your belief system, part of your personality. I have faced a few of these in my life. One was really hard, but I feel like I finally faced it and I am a better person for it.
The problem, I have noticed, is that the more you face and defeat these things, the worse they get. I feel like I am playing that Atari boxing game from the late 70s. The characters are getting meaner and tougher as I knock them out. As I push myself really hard during this 84 day sprint, I am running right smack into one of these big ugly demons and I have to tell you that I feel very weak. Will I ever overcome this sucker? I just do not know. Well, here goes…
Guy Reams
