Since I’ve been on the 365 Commitment journey for the past year and eight months, the idea getting what I want in life underlies the whole effort. Or rather, exploring what it is about myself, my behaviors, my habits that has kept me from getting want I want in life, inhibited the development, or unfolding, of my God given gifts and opportunities. Sure, I’ve managed to some success. But, having clarity on what has brought me that success has not been there, I’ve run on instinct and a patchwork of good and bad habits of mind and body. The 365 Commitment drives us into habits that will force us to really look at ourselves and will force us to grow and think.
The big idea I want to share in today’s blog is the idea that I must abandon the idea of waiting to “feel like” doing what I know I should do; just accept the fact that I am not going to feel like it! Whether it’s pushups, forgiving another person, or running, or studying, or reaching out to other people, or cleaning my room, or planning, or preparing, or saving money, or starting a business, or reading a book that will expose me to a great person’s mind and advice. WHATEVER it is that I know I need to do in order to reach a goal that care about (getting what I want) requires me to ABANDON the idea that I must “feel like it” in order to take action. Forget it, you are not going to feel like it. If you do, sometimes you may, then that’s cool cool – but don’t count on it, stop depending on it. The part of our brains where “feelings” are generated is not the part that helps us grow and change, it is the part that reacts and protects and maintains status quo.
I now starkly see that any of expectation of – reliance on – or hoping to “feel like” taking the necessary steps toward my goals is a root cause that has held me back. No more! This habit has been a (perhaps the) limiter on my engine.
So, the question arises “What habit should replace the “waiting to feel like it.” The answer is simple – force myself. Yep, brute force! This sounds harsh, but it is not, it is actually the best thing you can do for yourself. Of course it only applies to doing things that you know will help you get want you want – obviously.
As I have discussed in my recent blogs, timing is key – do it immediately. When you know what you must do, force yourself immediately, don’t wait. Because, if you wait, there are parts of the mind (the “feelings” parts) that will try to derail you, that part of your mind will talk you out of doing what you know is right because it doesn’t feel like doing it. Of course part of you doesn’t “feel like it” – discomfort sucks – embrace the suck! Doing so is a requirement of for change, and change is required if you are not getting what you want (reaching your goals).
Use the five second rule. When there is something you know you must do, eat right, do pushups, prepare for a meeting, make a plan, etc., simply count down 5-4-3-2-1 and blast-off (Mel Robbins’s idea) – do it regardless of how you feel. Force yourself. The reward is worth it!
The “feeling” parts of yourself will feel great when you reach your goal, just stop including that part in the pursuit.
Ben Wagner (228)
Member The 365 Commitment
