He, “didn’t care if you were famous, or talented or rich or poor. If you were a soul – he was gonna be a soul along side of you;” David Hoffman, filmmaker, talking about the character and personality of Earl Scruggs the virtuoso 20th century banjo player. Earl was a man who honored humanity.
This description of Earl struck me because I feel the same way about people. Most of the time. It’s easy for me to imagine that most people feel the same way, or adhere to the same ethic. Wouldn’t it be great if this was true? I suspect it’s not. But wouldn’t it be great?
To me, it’s not about respect so much as it is about dignity. Allowing others their dignity is what is needed as a baseline of treatment in society. Doing so values people, and ensures a minimum sort of care and fairness. It does not require respect. There is a distinction here, and that is – respect is earned, whereas dignity is the right of each living person.
Dignity and love are intertwined. Dignity reflects the shared experience of being alive, of having a soul, of contending with the pain and joy of life, as well as the guarantee of death that existence requires.
Dignity accommodates human weakness, foiable and shortcoming. Each person is inherantly valuable, they are a soul experiencing life – as we all are. The concepts of innocent until proven guilty, equal treatment under the law, and the notion of “created equal,” all stem from the intrinsic value and dignity we recognize in everyone. Treat others as an End, in and of themselves, not a Means to achieve our selfish desire. Dignity should be a given, a floor.
Respect, to me, is based on what someone does with their life; it is based on behavior, on performance, on being admirable – worthy of admiration. Respect is earned, and is a intertwined with hierarchy. Some people are more respectable than others.
Even if you don’t “respect” someone, you can treat them well and with honor -with dignity. The absence of respect is not disrespect. It’s a weird example, but I think allowing criminals condemned to death a last meal, is an example of this ethic. Here’s another example.
When I was a little kid, my Mom would give me a spanking now and then, but she never pulled my pants down and paddled my bare bottom. To me, that would have been humiliating and undignified! Punishment was tough enough – no need to dis-honor me as well. I always appreciated that about her. I’d witness a kid getting a spanking in public with their pants pulled down. Horrifying! I felt bad for those kids.
So, here’s to dignity! We need more of it by all means. We should afford it to everyone (including ouselves) freely based on the knowledge of our own frailty and weakness, based on empathy and love – based on simple existence.
However, respect should not be given without evidence of admirable behavior/performance. Even self-respect requires that we do something that we can admire in ourselves.
If you are a soul, then I will stand with you as another soul, with dignity. It is a baseline that prevents “disrespect,” but does not require respect. Maybe it just requires a kind of love and humility?
The 365Commitment creates an opportunity to build self-respect through actions that are admirable. A great foundational habit, is to treat yourself and others with dignity. Not that is a behavior worthy of respect!
I think Earl Scruggs would agree.
Ben Wagner
