I remember once, I was really wrestling with a challenge. It was a big fight, and I was overwhelmed. I was head down and battling through what I thought was a really important fight that I had to win. I talked with someone that I trusted about the situation. His response caught me off guard.
You are in the wrong fight.
Huh? I was expecting advice, guidance, a strategy perhaps, or even better to come to my aid and help me win. Rather, his response was that I was in the wrong fight. I was not even battling over something of consequence. I was spinning my wheels fighting over something that was not going to help propel me forward. Armed with this perspective, I just exited the fight the next day and I do not even know what the outcome was. True enough, the fight I was in was a complete waste of time.
The question is a real one. Are you in the right fight? Are you fighting a battle worthy of winning? Is the cost associated with this fight worth the outcome if you do win? This is a tough question. It stabs pride right through the heart. The reason was stick in fights that are non consequential is because of pride. Energy spent trying to win the wrong battles gets you no where, in fact, they probably lead you backward. Which leads me to a core principle I follow:
You can be right and wrong at the same time.
If you are going to take dive into a pool and make a big splash, then you better be ready for the consequences. It better be worth it. Even more important, when you do get into the pool (the fight) and start making waves then you better be sure that the cause you are fighting for is a winner and not a loser. If you are following someone into a fight, then you better be sure the person is getting into a fight with a worthy cause. When I was really young, I remember my father and grandfather often repeating this phrase:
Do not make waves and do not back losers.
I did not understand it then, it was a phrase for me without context, but it makes sense now. You do not want to start making waves in a pool that you have no business being in. You do not want to blindly follow an idiot into battle. You do not want to stick to your guns over a losing argument, because even after all your effort you will still lose and where does that leave you?
Interesting. You can debate about the ethics, objectivity and doing the right thing. Truth exists outside of your relativity you might think. The ideal is more important and worthy of the strife. Noodle on the concept taught by Alfred Lord Tennyson in the Charge of the Light Brigade poem. The light infantry charged boldly into battle against a far superior force. They charged despite the fact that their initial battle plans said otherwise. They charged even though all logic and reason said it was folly. The followed the loser that gave the mistaken order. A mistake that he tried to correct, but could not be heard over the cannon fire. Every solider obeyed with exactness heading headlong to their deaths, even thought it was painfully obvious the light cavalry should not be wasting their lives against a battery of canon fire. They fought a good fight, a bold fight, but it was the wrong fight. It was stupid and senseless and a complete mistake.
So are you in a fight? I am sure you are! Are you in the right one?
Guy Reams
