One of the most popular stories in our society is the story of David. He was an ancient King of Israel and his life is recorded in what many now refer to as scripture. There is no doubt that David was a significant leader, and definitely brought a time of prosperity to the people of Israel. I, like many, brought up in the Western Culture have had a few times to read through the documentation of his life. One of the most famous stories is David’s fall from the grace of God. In case you do not know the story, David was loved by God. He was a dedicated, loyal, righteous man. However, one day he saw a beautiful woman bathing on a roof top near his palace. He lusted after her, conspired to have her husband shipped off to war, put on the front lines and therefore killed. It is important to mention that this husband, was a loyal and brave lieutenant in David’s military.
Shortly after he arranges this man’s death, he takes this beautiful woman, now a widow, and marries her. They quickly get pregnant, and David is seemingly doing great now that he has the woman he wants and another son on the way. However, the part of the story that people forget is the part that always resonated with me. A man comes to David and tells him a story. The story is of a travelling man who comes to a town. The town has a rich man, with all the livestock anyone could ever need, and a poor man with only a single precious lamb. The poor man, holds this lamb sacred and treats the lamb as if it were one of his daughters. When the travelling man comes to visit the town, the rich man prepares him a welcoming meal. Rather than taking from his own plentiful livestock, he slays the poor man’s lamb and uses that meat for the feast.
David is outraged by this story. He immediately calls for the head of the rich man. How insensitive! How cowardly! What a brazen fool to treat another in this manner! David wants that man found and wants that man brought to justice! David does not understand this is a just an illustrative story, and after he calms down to listen the storyteller pauses and tells him a phrase that I will never forget:
“Thou art the man”
I will not get into all the befalls David shortly after this revelation. Suffice to say, he no longer has the favor of God. The point that I want to make is a critical one and it always sits with me, as uncomfortable as it maybe.
When I am mad, yelling, upset, feeling frustrated it is usually because of other people. Other people are mucking up my plans, getting in my way, causing me delays, and generally not doing what I want. I get upset, irritated, and often times this will become some of the most unproductive time for me. I do not sleep well, I focus on the wrong things, I might even get vengeful or worse start to launch plans that do nothing more than cause further distraction and heartache for all involved. When I get in this moment, and I hear myself saying the same things that David was saying. How dare that person do that! What were they thinking! Why would they act that way! That is when I take a deep breath and I quietly whisper to myself, “thou art the man.” That suddenly brings this all into perspective. I am the one causing the upheaval here. I am the one throwing a fit and full of outrage. Perhaps before I get too carried away, maybe I need to really stop and think about what my role has been in this drama. More often than not, I discover that I was overlooking the proverbial lamb. Sometimes, I realize that I was acting appropriately, and that is good. I now know that I can act decisively and quickly having put myself to the question.
We waste a lot of time in our day lamenting and worrying about things that others have done to us, when in reality, we caused most of it ourselves. This is a bitter pill to swallow, when the obvious conclusion was that you were in control of this situation the whole time. Anyway, self improvement is about retrospection and dealing with the one thing we can control, and that is ourselves.
Guy Reams
