To Accept or Force

There is a concept that for every time there is a season. Meaning that there was a time for me to be learning new things and adding to my skills that would help me in my future career. I still do that and enjoy that, but the time for that to my primary focused has past. There is a time for me to be a father, a husband, a business owner, a college professor, etc. We have certain times in our lives where what we are working on is correct and other times where it does not. I think that is easy enough to understand, however, here is the hard part. When is appropriate to force the issue and when is it appropriate to accept that now is just not your season?

For example, I would love to be an ultra marathon runner and actually compete and win some races. Now, should I force that, or is this just not my season? Important question really. We can try to force something that is just not going to work. I am just not going to win an ultra marathon race at my age, very easily. Maybe my season is to just come in 100th place instead!

I have been struggling with how to answer this question. My ultra running example is silly, I already knew the answer to that one, but other questions are not so easy. When is it time to move on from what you are doing to something new? When is time to move to a new home? When is time to realize that you have failed at something and it is time to give up and try something different. This is a very hard thing to answer, especially for a driven, never give up, type of person like me. I will hold on to something forever, I will never give up. I always feel that I can beat all the odds, but maybe I need to realize that on somethings the season is over.

I am not talking necessarily about a job, although this could apply to that. I am talking more about who we think we are. I have a view of who I want to be, or who I think I should be. I hold on to that, and do what I can to force it. However, maybe I need to realize that I who I want to be is actually intended for 20 year old me and not 50 year old me? Maybe I need to change that perception so that I can have the best ambition for the season that I am in.

I have come to the conclusion that the best way to answer this question is to ask for and receive advice from others, as many people as you can get. Explain what you are trying to force and ask others if what you are trying to do fits with this season or your life. You might not like the answer, but if the responses come back universally that you are just in the wrong season, then maybe you should listen. I saw an older man yesterday wearing something that would have looked good on someone in their early 20s in the 80s. You know, the Don Johnson look. He even had the haircut, except he was balding now. The suit did not fit well and pleated, cuffed white pants are just not the thing anymore. I wanted to tell him, that the season had past, time to update the wardrobe.

However, maybe he would look at me and say a similar thing about something in my life that is obvious to others that I am holding onto too desperately? Consider this, if you are really forcing something that is just not working, perhaps you need to consider that the season has past. How do you know? Ask others.

Guy Reams

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