Body language communicates 93% of the messages we send to others. Maybe it’s 89%. Let’s not quibble, the point is we are wired to interpret signals from others that inform us of their intention and the meaning of their words. How we say things matters, a lot.
What explains the popularity of Bob Ross’s painting instruction videos? How about Mr. Rogers? I think their gentle way of speaking in large part explain why they are both so beloved and successful. Mr. Rogers’s voice and manner of speaking was almost hypnotic for kids an adults alike. It just completely changes the atmosphere in the room and creates a sense of calm and harmony.
Feeling safe, moreover, being safe is a deep and fundamental need we all have. Sure, we 365 Commitment folks advocate taking risks and embracing discomfort, but in-between those adventures we all need to retreat, like a toddler running back to mom and grabbing that leg. Did you ever run back to mom when you were little, grab that leg in relief and safety only to look up and see that you were clutching the leg of a stranger?! Yikes, safety vanished instantly, horror and panic took over. Not a good feeling! The level of safety we offer to others really matters. How we say things really matters.
So, I’ve been trying to change my tone, and sound (and be) more like Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross. I suck at it. I have found that I am not good at talking in soothing tones, and it is no wonder. I know this I true because I see it reflected, like sonar, from those I wish to set an example for, my kids. I’d say bickering and scolding and adamant and/or provocative statements with too many words are really bad habits that I have set an example for. If you are asking, “why is everyone around me acting like jerks?”, and you are their leader, (cough cough) it’s you. Ouch! I think I need to up my game here. Like sonar, our tone and words reflect back on us and create a signature . I want to focus on improving my tone of voice and word choice using the 365 commitment.
So, I am writing this down on my list of important things to do today. I will channel Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers, I will notice how I am saying things and strive to create and project the care and love and harmony I truly wish to manifest and have reflected back to me. I will choose my tone and words mindfully.
I may sound like an idiot, and I may suck at it, but it’s better than sounding like an jerk. Onward (said in a soft and gentle tone).
Ben Wagner (108)
Member The 365 Commitment
