The question arises. Why embrace the suck? Why push yourself to develop good habits? Isn’t all of this sort of negative?
The answer is simple, we make things better through sacrifice. I could rephrase in a less emotionally charged way, or in a way that does not raise the spectre of death, by saying we make things better through delayed gratification.
Well, why is this so? Why does delayed gratification make things better? Sacrifice? Why does this “make things better?”?
To answer this, look no farther than the birth of a child. Left alone, that child will simply perish of starvation, exposure, and dehydration or predation in short order. This reality demonstrates the fact that we live within an environment that is dangerous and will kill you in short order unless provision, and protection, and resources are provided. How are these things generated? Well someone, the parents provide them. How do they manage this? Through delayed gratification and sacrifice on their part for the benefit and survival of the child. The parents sacrifice. The parents delay their gratification. The parents love. The parents are able to respond (a.k.a. are responsible).
We simply live in a reality where pain and suffering will catch up with you rather quickly unless you work to mitigate and fortify against that. The 365 Commitment is a pragmatic framework to help any person get better at doing so. In order to reduce the inevitable pain and suffering that is inherent, and always pressing, in this life unless fortified against. The cold and wind outside are not noticeable if you live in a warm house are they? But, that does not mean that the harsh environment is not a given.
Again, the question arises. But, isn’t that sort of negative? Why are you trying so hard? I think this question is naive and could only be asked by someone protected from reality, someone whom others are bestowing protection and resources upon, like the infant in the above example. The naive, and/or the truly privileged. There are others more sinister types who would ask this question.
People who cannot see the value in sacrifice and delayed gratification, if not naive, may have bought into other ways of getting resources bestowed upon them that result from the labor of others. For example, Genghis Khan raided and plundered across Asia reaping the resources generated by others. Stealing works great. Another example is slavery. Slavery has been ubiquitous across all human history and cultures and still is. Only the underlying morals and the resolve of a culture that emerged from the Enlightenment, which emerged from Christianity, managed to put a stop to slavery, or at least beat it back for the first time in recorded history. Otherwise, it is a typical strategy for coping with the realities of life on this earth, works great, with plenty of proponents around the world. A diabolical twist on this when those who would steal or enslave justify doing so in the name of love and compassion, wow.
So, again the question might be asked. Why embrace the suck? Isn’t this kind of negative? I would say there are several types who would ask these questions. Those who steal from or enslave others have a hard time understanding why embracing the suck, and delaying gratification, and making sacrifices in love are the best modes of being; or, those, who are naïve and protected from the brunt of reality that characterizes life on this earth, read privileged.
I think there is one more group we could add (who would question the value of embracing the suck), people with the premature presumption of learned helplessness; those that say, “I’m not even going to try because the deck is stacked against me.” The cynicism and rejection of responsibility that victim status confers is alluring. Folks who take on this kind of mentality likely reject the value of delayed gratification and “embracing the suck.” The mantle of victim hood blinds us to important and useful modes of being that sacrifice and delayed gratification offer and define. I say “premature” above because I wonder if those who take on this mentality have really tried their best and failed 1000 times before taking on the cloak of cynicism?
So, embracing the suck, and delaying gratification, and sacrificing in love is the answer. In love is the key. Without love there is not point, there is no meaning. In my view, this is the foundational way (mode of being) that mature, aware, and moral people cope with reality and actually make things better. The 365 Commitment is a Framework and a process for helping people with these values get themselves into gear.
So, I encourage you to embrace the suck, delay gratification and make sacrifices in love for the betterment of your reality and those you impact. We will build the metaphorical and real houses and circumstances that mitigate and protect us and those we love from suffering, and afford more moments of joy and meaning.
Ben Wagner (92)
Member The 365 Commitment
