In my grade school years, I was the epitome of a geek; way before that word hit mainstream usage. I wasn’t good at sports and loved to spend hours in my room reading. As I became a teenager, I lost the clumsiness I’d had and became “decent” at sports, but I was never a standout athlete. I also discovered girls along with other diversions like working part time jobs. I then only read when required to do so for school throughout my high school and college careers.
For the last 20+ years I had to read and study textbooks and the internet to develop and improve upon my lectures as a computer science instructor. So reading was always seen as “work” to me and I read for pleasure very little. One item on my daily list is to read 20-30 minutes each day, and I am rediscovering my love of reading. I’ve completed three books in as many weeks, and am 12% through my 4th book now.
This new book is on diet and exercise called “The 4-Hour Body” it written by a fellow geek who is as fond of statistics and data as I am. One major premise of this book is that “if it cannot be measured, you will fail”. I truly believe this and am logging daily: blood pressure, miles hiked and walked, water intake (another item on my list), body weight, and much more! I have even made an appointment to have my body composition professionally tested later this week to establish an accurate baseline. I’m a firm believer in tracking progress via data logging; and have excel spreadsheets and graphs charting nearly everything I am logging.
In this book, the author speaks a lot of fear and I found a quote in his book from one of my favorite novels I read as a youngster- Frank Herbert’s Dune. In that novel the Bene Gesserit is a group of social and religious leaders who after years of physical and mental conditioning possess superhuman mental powers and abilities. They state the following in their “Litany Against Fear” in the novel:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
I love this quote and agree that fear is a mind-killer! So many of us looking to make a major change in our lives don’t do it due to fear. We are so fearful of failure that we develop and envelope ourselves in excuses. Which brings to mind another much less eloquent quote – “Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink”.
Before I started this commitment, I looked at things through my old habits and eyes. I started to immediately seek out and develop my old friend “the excuses” for why I couldn’t lose another 20-30 pounds and get in the shape required to complete a grueling overnight GoRuck challenge. I was stuck in my old habit of giving myself the rational why NOT to do something. Then the epiphany hit me… my old habits (obviously) weren’t working and I needed to develop new ones. 21 days is seen by many psychologists as the recognized time to develop a new habit— and mine are starting to take hold!
My life is at a huge low point, I’ve been experiencing financial difficulties now for nearly 9 months. At 56 years old I am finding today’s job-hunting world to be cold, impersonal, and inhuman – compared to the years after I completed college. For most of my adult life jobs came to me, but that isn’t the case anymore. I’ve been depressed and angry at the world and those around me. This commitment and renewing my relationship with my higher power has helped me immensely over the last 3 weeks. Even my wife and family have seen a change in my attitude and outlook. I am happier and more satisfied and gaining steam every morning! All these small incremental changes are starting to add up! Failure is not an option!
Fear and skepticism are necessary and welcome in all facets of our lives, many are hardwired into our brains like the fight-or-flight response. Tackle your fears and dominate them, don’t let them dictate your life. Start a new journey with the 365 commitment to yourself and your higher power!
Jonathan Leavitt (21)
365 Member
