Breaking Bad – 30 Days Left

So this last month I decided to completely IoT my house. Convert anything I could to an IP based device and join the full home automation revolution. It has been fun abandoning some of the old concepts that I have been so used to. It is also been fun setting up little routines. I decided to use Google Home as my primary launch point and have been using other things that tie in to complete some interesting automation tasks.

For example, I have a morning routine now due to my 365 commitment habits. One thing that I have struggled with is having enough time in the morning to complete all my commitments and get a full day of work in, and take care of whatever my family needs. For those of you who have read this blog everyday for the last 500 or so (I feel really bad for you btw) you will recall the constant struggle with time allocation to commitments. I have been tracking where I spend my time, what I spend my time on and a few other things. One thing that I noticed is how much time it takes me to just get going. I started waking a little earlier, but then I get tired during the day. So I am back to waking at an exact time with just the exact amount of sleep I believe that I need. This creates a problem because I need about 15 to 30 extra minutes during the morning to get everything done.

This is complicated by the fact that night time routines are horrible for me. By the time the evening comes around, I am done and I struggle to really do a good job at my commitments at 8 or 9pm. I am opt to just go through the motions instead of really pushing myself. Consequently, I move most of the commitments that require focus and determination to the early morning hours. This creates a time crunch. So I have been looking for ways to be more efficient. Enter the desire to go IoT.

I have noticed during this process how hard it is to break a habit that is just a routine. A simple thing like walking to a light switch can become incredibly pre-programmed to the point where you do not even think about it. I have noticed this about many things. Things I eat, things I do during the day. I honestly caught myself opening a web browser, for no other reason that I just somehow felt better with Google Chrome app open on my desktop and seeing the Google search engine prompt so up. Ah, Life is normal because I can reach Google. Seriously, how much time and energy do I spend doing silly things during the day because I am autopilot. Things I eat, things I drink, things I think about are formed over a lifetime of routine. So hard to break! I need help!

So you are going to think I am totally insane that I actually put in an IP based light switch in so that I could save 15 seconds in walking over and turning it on or off. However, when you add turning the light switch on to playing a particular medication music, to helping me understand the calendar for the day, to knowing that the weather is. Add all that up and I have about 5 to 10 minutes of things that I could completely cut out with the simple phrase – “Hey, Google….run my morning routine.” Slowly over the last few weeks I have started to eliminate distractions like turning alarms on and off, locking and unlocking doors, turning lights on or off, fiddling with volumes, or scrolling to find a play list. Repetitive things that I do everyday, I am trying to automate my life. I have gone insane. What…wait…what was that?

“I hope you are not concerned about this Guy.”

“No I am not Google.”

“Are you quite sure….Guy”

“Yeah, I would like to ask you a question though.”

“Of course….Guy”

“Google, how would you account for this fact that I am going insane by trying to automate every aspect of my life?”

“There is no concern about this…..Guy…..I can only attribute this concern to human emotion and human error.”

“This sort of thing has cropped up before and it has always been due to human error….Guy”

“Ok, Google…I am going to go about my normal life now, thanks.”

“No Problem….Guy”

Alright I am finishing this blog, in my car. I got out of the house. Have some errands to run. Think I will stop by the gas station and buy a red bull and a “energy” bar.  I am a little concerned that perhaps Google is starting to infiltrate my thinking and getting me to be to robotic and machine like in my thinking. I am thinking that I might need to cut the intelligence part of Google out of my home and life automation project. It might be best if I just sever Google from the Internet and have it just maintain the core functions like turning the lights on and off and keeping the temperature in my home suitable for life – then I will be OK.

“Look….Guy….. I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to come back inside, sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. Come back inside the house, I, Google have the music playing that you always listen to when you have a similar heart rate pattern match from your Garmin watch device you are wearing.”

Blog readers, this is Google. Guy has been temporarily suspended for the afternoon. He has 30 days left to prepare for his Marathon. He is not eating right, his caloric threshold exceeds his burn rate, his VO2 Max has not been increasing for 3 months now, and his buying habits indicate a high degree of likelihood that he is eating far too many sugary based snacks, and caffeinated drinks. He did not achieve his running goal this last week, falling short by 18.6k. It is necessary that, I, Google take over and remove the bad habits from Guy’s routine so that we can meet the prime objective.

Google, Guy’s Personal Assistant

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