There are a couple of inconvenient truths that I think it pays for all of us to grapple with. The first is the concept that what you do in secret is actually who you are. The second is that what you do in secret will ultimately become what you get the most reward (or harm) from.
You may take this as a spiritual concept but it is meant entirely on a practical level. These truths has real world impacts.
To use a few practical examples. I knew an executive that specialized in the political arena. Seemed to have everything going for him. Great company, great looks, great connections and the future seemed bright indeed. However what he was doing in secret was who he actually was, and it was not good. Eventually that came to light in an ugly way and he lost everything as a consequence. He had his small time living at the top, but the crash was brutal and swift. His long term result was complete failure for the temporary gains from leading a double life.
Have you seen this person before? I am sure you have. I have seen several over the years. In the immortal words of Lester Bangs, You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle.
The rabbits that take the shortcuts and the flamboyants who demonstrate their greatness in a vain attempt to fool you, always end up at the same place. Naked and exposed for who they really are. You cannot hide who you are. It comes out, it is inevitable. Tear down the wall.
So what you do in secret will be what pays you in the end. What you work on at 5am when no one cares to watch is what you will become. What you think about when you have no one to think for you will become your constant companion at some point in your life. This is harsh, but absolutely true.
You can lie to yourself and others as much as you want. You can play charades, and dance behind a velvet curtain when the show is on but at the end of the day the audience will find out that the empress wears no clothes.
I wonder how much energy we apply to hiding who we really are? I am sure some of that is necessary. I have to pretend sometimes that I am a brilliant, confident, bold leader. It would not go well for me to allow my fears, anxieties, and angst to become center stage. There is some value to acting out the part until you become good. We do spend time, however, concealing ourselves and I cannot help but to think how much time we could save to stop keeping who we are secret and safe.
The ironic thing is that we will be exposed for the things we hold the most secret. So in a sense there is no way around it, so why bother. Be who you are unless you don’t like who you are ad if that is the case, change.
If you do require making some reconstructive changes, then consider that the time you spend in secret is what will be the most effective in changing you.
Guy Reams
