I have made a big deal in the past about Alan Fine and his team who created this coaching model called GROW. He runs a company called InsideOut development which focuses on models like this. I think he started with coaching athletes, tennis and golf players. The first video that I saw of his was him showing a break through he had with a tennis player. The fascinating concept was that he really did not tell the tennis player anything. The coaching was not telling at all, it was just simply helping the person focus on the problem. The act of focusing on the problem, in a different way, seems to be most of the challenge that people have with progress and growth. In fact, most people do not need anyone to tell them what to do, they just need help thinking through it.
A model for thinking is the problem, not the actual thinking itself. Alan Fine seems to represent that people are fully capable of growing themselves, and actually willing to do so. The problem is that they do not have a methodology for thinking through it. Their default “way” of thinking could be riddled with potholes, hangups, and personal fears. Consequently for most people, his advice is to follow a inside out approach rather than an outside in approach. Most of us in our experience have either managed or been managed by people that take a very outside in approach. When someone asks for help, our first and instinctive response is to give them advice, tell them what to do. That is probably the least productive way to coach someone.
So in all likelihood, you are not going to find many people that will coach you well through challenges. They will not have the patience for it. Even myself, I understand that inside out is always better, but I cannot help myself. I jump to telling people what to do, even though I know better! How often have you had a meeting with a manger and left the meeting feeling that they just did not get it, did not understand your problems, were jumping to conclusions? Seems like that happens all the time. That is where Alan Fine thinks that so much progress can be made with just having a simple model to follow when coaching people and that is where the GROW methodology comes in.
Since you are rarely going to find someone that can walk you through it, today I started trying to GROW myself. I have a few problems that I am working on, so this seemed like a good idea. Let me give you a quick primer on what GROW is. There are plenty of videos out there btw, just search for Alan Fine and GROW. Although he runs a for profit organization he seems to give freely, for which I have taken full advantage. Anyway, GROW is an acronym. G stands for your Goal. What are outcome are really striving for? What are you trying to accomplish? Write that down. R stands for Reality. What is the current reality of the sitiuation. What is happening? What have you tried? Do you have competing interests or other goals that are getting in the way? You should also write down the reality you are in. You are now prepared for the defining part of the GROW model.
The O is for Options or sometimes Obstacles. What is in your way? What is preventing you from succeeding? What are your options for dealing with this? What can you do? What could you do? You might get stuck here, but this is where you should spend most of your time. I like to ask myself funny questions like, What would my mom do in this situation? What would Jesus do? Ghandi? Martin Luther King? You get the idea. What would Tony Soprano do? In a perfect world, where I could do anything, what options would I have? If I had ulimited resouces, what would I do? Take careful notes and write down all the options that you can think of. Think of several, even ask other people their opinion. Write them down.
The W is for Way forward. This is where you select an option and commit to trying it. No action is always worse than taking an action that might fail. JFDI ( learned that today from a member of my team, Warren). It is like Just Do it, but with an F in there. You can figure out what the F stands for. If your way forward does not work out, go back to your list, revaluate and try another. Pick a path and go! This is the way forward!
So to test my new theory, I got out a notebook and did a GROW session. This probably works better with a coach, but I went though the questions and wrote down my responses. In not too much time, I had an couple of solid ideas and a way forward. I felt really good about my planning session. I felt like I had really considered, weighed my options and I felt some relief from my anxiety about inaction around my challenges.
Consider GROWing yourself and see if you have a similar result!
Guy Reams
