Today’s climate is full of anger, or rash thinking, quick to condemn, and fueling further violence. I can certainly attest to one very important concept. Anger, or at least acting out of anger, is toxic to your soul. It hurts both you and the person that you are targeting your anger towards. So it really only serves the purpose of destroying you. So you should consider adopting this one absolute maxim, never react out of anger.
When you are mad about something, you should never just react. I learned that lesson this last week. Someone did something out of anger, that in turn made me very upset. My gut reaction was to also act of out of anger. I decided to let myself think about it for awhile and let it go for a few days. When I came back to it, I was much calmer. I acted rationally and correctly. The person I was upset with and myself benefitted by the action taken. Acting out of anger NEVER produces a positive result. So just do not do it.
Feeling anger is acceptable. Anger is a warning sign to you that something is wrong, threatening, or disrupting you in some way. Anger is a natural reaction to this condition. However, anger is something to be controlled, as it is an impulse rooted in ancient primal responsiveness to stimuli. We must learn to bridle that anger, recognize the source, and then deal with it appropriately and with a measured response. Anger was a much needed emotion when we were in life and death situations, when we were faced with life peril almost every day of our lives. However, lets be honest here. Was the thing that the person said in that email really going to kill you? Was that car cutting you off on accident really going to cause you to die instantly (well, maybe). That point is that we overact because the emotion is powerful, just like any of the primal emotions that we might feel.
Just as with everything else in life, it takes practice to improve. If you have spent your entire life just reacting to anger with the first action or thought that comes to mind then it is going to take awhile to train yourself to react differently. I remember as a child acting out on anger, and my mom scolding me and pulling me aside and lecturing me about controlling my anger. Perhaps you did not have a parent that reminded you constantly and consistently about controlling that emotion. Whatever the reason, it is vitally important to learn how to not immediately action on an anger fueled action.
To act on anger is toxic, just plain and simple. It poisons you and those you affect with your response. How you deal with the offending reason for your anger is always going to be a better response by contemplating and determining the most appropriate course of action. Control your anger! Perhaps we need to teach our society to control its anger as well, instead of encouraging or even adding fuel to the fire.
Guy Reams
