So everyone has this personal brand. The fad in self help dialog and marketing speak is to work on your personal brand, but that is not the point of this discussion. The point is that you have one. Freud and Jung referred to it as an extension of the ego, a portrayal of oneself, the way that you want to be perceived by others.
In essence, the way you want to be or the way you want to be perceived (your brand) is a lie. It is not an accurate representation of yourself. Now before you freak out about that, just realize it is something everyone does. It is a natural part of growth as a human being. We pretend to be something, and then work hard to become that. If we did not have this going on we would not experience growth. Effectively a growth mentality is one in which a person has a brand that is significantly different then who they actually are.
However, there is something else to consider. The larger the gap between who you are and the way you present yourself to others creates stress and anxiety. The reason is that you are constantly trying to fill the gap. If you think about it, you sort of have to do this. You would never tell a new client, for example, that you were completely inexperienced and had no real value to give them as a sales person. No, rather, you would come into the discussion with confidence portraying the experienced sales person that can help them navigate the complexities of a purchase. So instead you pretend a bit, and the anxiety comes from trying to make that pretend self become the real self.
So this can help us, because the closer we get to our brand self, or our pretend self, then the less stressful life becomes. You have to find a balance, however. Your pretend self and you real self can never be the exact same, because in that case you would progress very slowly. So you do need a gap to exist but just not too far. Your capacity is a person is measured on your ability to handle that gap. The larger the gap, the more successful, the more risks that you can tolerate.
Another consideration is that many people are forced to have multiple brands. They portray themselves differently to different groups of people. They have their church role, family role, work role, etc. The more roles you have the more pretend selves you will be portraying. If you have too many of these with a large gap then life will be really stressful. Better to reign some of those in a bit and only allow one of them to extend yourself slightly beyond your capacity.
Guy Reams
