We all make commitments in our lives. A few big ones and a whole bunch of small ones. Some commitments are more serious than others with real consequence if you do not keep up your end of the bargin. For example, taking a mortgage out with a lending institution so that you can borrow money to purchase a home is a serious commitment. You may have experienced the process of signing your life away in a moment of documents with a notary in attendance. You are not going to easily back out of mortgage and if you do, you will be returning the house and probably paying some penalties. This commitment has real teeth to it.
Use to be the same way for marriage, but not so much anymore. Here in California, any assets or income gained during the marriage is subject to a 50/50 split. So I suppose that has some consequence to getting a divorce. If you think about the typical marriage ceremony it is meant to have weight to it. You are professing a commitment to guests, family and witnesses are there to see that you actually make the commitment and seal it with a kiss. This is a real commitment and our society has created a lot of pomp and circumstance to accompany it.
So what makes a commitment serious? This is an important question because we often make commitments to ourselves and others on a whim and with little hope to actually achieve them. Sadly, some of our most noble commitments falter and fail only a day after we make them. Why is that? A few examples for understanding. How often have you said to yourself, alright this is it. I am going to lose weight, get into shape this year. I am going to eat better and go to the gym. Then a few weeks later, you are in the gym parking lot, with no intention of going in and eating 4 donuts (two chocolate and two maple). That sounds pretty specific, well, that is because I have been there a few times! Another example I heard a few weeks ago. Sales person says, this year I am going to blow out my number. I am going to buckle down and work hard and bring in the business this year. A few weeks later, he is on vacation (again) and already seems to have forgotten the work required to be successful. Maybe he prescribes to the 4 hour work week and hopes the sales will magically come in?
So these types of commitments are meaningless. Pretty soon people do not believe them and even you stop believing them. Even as they come from your lips, you are already turning your head knowing you will fail. So what is a real commitment, one that we will actually keep? There are a few elements, outlined below. Then I will give one example that I am doing this next year and how I am making it real for myself.
Element 1 – Burn the Boats mentality – You have to build a mechanism that makes this very real for you, so real that to fail your commitment would devastating to you in a way that would really hurt. How serious are you? Then burn the boats so that your only path is success.
Element 2 – Ride at Dawn – No screwing around. When you make the commitment, just start doing it right now. Never, never, never say – “I will start Monday”. That is a lie that you tell yourself, you have no intention of doing it on Monday. The only time to do it is NOW. You have no choice, you made the commitment do it now. Ride at Dawn. Symbolic of the renegade bank robbers that pulled off the heist and they have no choice but to ride with what they are carrying with them.
Element 3 – Embrace the Suck – So you made the commitment. This is not going to be easy at all. There is a reason you have not been keeping the commitment before hand. There is something about you and your circumstances that are perfectly aligned for your failure. Getting out of that is going to be hard. Brutally hard. So just embrace. Accept. Say, this is going to suck and I am going to want to quit, but I am going to do it anyway.
Element 4 – Small Steps are Better – You should not make such a large commitment that you will fail no matter what. Give yourself a chance to be great, even if it is ridiculously easy. Commit to go to the gym for 5 minutes a day. Ridiculous? Yes. However, infinitely better than never. Here is the rule of thumb that I go by – I should commit to the smallest thing that I will actually do everyday.
Element 5 – Everyday is Everyday – Most commitments are best when they are something you can do everyday. True, you can do a monthly or weekly commitment but the best kind are everyday. Break your larger commitment down into small increments that can be done everyday. Force the habit, embrace the suck and do it everyday, over and over again until it is so hard coded into your head that the new commitment / habit is part of who you are. BTW – that takes 90 days. Whoever came up with 18 days to a habit, was not being truthful.
Element 6 – Link the Commitment with the Impossible – Huh? Think about this for a minute. Religious orgnizations have convinced people they can rise up and join the heavens and be on the right hand side of God if they were to just go to Church and pay Tithing (and maybe a few more requirements). True or not is subject to your opinion, but hte concept is interesting. Humans like to believe they can hit the highest and most lofty of goals by following a simple course, a list of procedures. So take advantage of that!! Fill in this sentence:
I will do _______ for _________ period of time and if I do then I will then obtain ________.
By aligning your commitment with an amazing result, an over the top result then you will be powerfully motivated.
This year I have some very lofty goals. I want to achieve a great physique that would rival a greek statue. I want to have mental clarity and discipline to be compared to someone like Ghandi. I want to fix all my health problems and live to be a healthy 120 years old and still compete in ultra marathons. All this is completely impossible. I know it, you know it and my wife absolutely knows it. However, I have made a commitment this year that if I follow it with exactness then I believe this will come true. I have faith in my commitment.
I have decided to fast for 3 days, a full 72 hours, at the start of each month. So every 1, 2, 3 of each month I will go on a water only fast. I have made the commitment to myself and really only myself. It is crazy and extremely difficult, but I have no choice in the matter any longer. The commitment is made, the contract has been signed, and I am all in. I will not get into the details, but I have made this commitment very real for me. So here goes. Day 2 of 3 on my first month of 12.
Guy (2)
