A concept that I repeat to myself often is this: you have not met the person who will have the greatest influence in your life yet.
A Mindset Shift
Your instinct will be to argue against this concept. You will say, what about my spouse? My parents? My Grandparents? These deflections miss the point entirely. The concept is to have this as an attitude when going about life. If you are closed off or set in your mindset, then you could be running across or encountering people who could have a significant impact on you and miss the chance. Going about your life tasks with the attitude that you will meet the person who will have that level of impact on you is a mindset shift. The greatest influence is out there, just waiting to meet you.
The “I Am Not Done Yet” Attitude
This is also an “I am not done yet” attitude. I heard this young biographer speak about his opportunity to interview a 98-year-old WWII veteran. This man had always wanted to write a book but never did, and he met this young biographer by happenstance. A few months later, he co-authored an amazing book that documents his experiences during the war. Something this older man had wanted to do his whole life and thought the opportunity had passed him by. Yet a seemingly chance encounter provided him with the ability to document his life before he passed, and he did just that a few short months after publication.
The Commitment
Several “365 Commitments” ago, I tried a new program. Every day, I would attempt to at least connect and/or talk to someone that I had never met before. If you have not figured it out already, every 365 days I challenge myself to a commitment that I try to keep and then document my progress. This particular challenge was not easy. After 90 or so days, I started running out of creative ways to engage people. So I started to get really desperate in my methods. However, I have to admit that after a year of doing this, I had some incredible results. I met some amazing people, and one of them had quite an impact on my life. Another person I met and talked with changed my trajectory in life completely. I also met people who were completely different than me and came from completely different backgrounds. All in all, it was a challenging but very rewarding commitment.
The Merit of Meeting New People
This process taught me that the idea of pursuing the meeting of new people has merit. If you ever feel discouraged, hopeless, confused, or out of sorts in any way, try meeting new people. This is energizing and exciting and usually leaves you better off than you were. Many times, you can share something and feel like you helped someone. Other times, you get well-fed and find yourself learning something new. Salespeople inherently know the value of this; having been in this capacity for much of my life, I have to reach out and talk to strangers as a part of my role. I would recommend reaching out and talking to people beyond just selling them something, however. Forget the sales aspect; reach out, and connect with new people – regardless of purpose.
Quality Engagement Beyond Social Media
You will discover that social media tools, like LinkedIn, are not great for this purpose. They can work in a pinch, but you will find that quality engagement is hard to come by. Are you suspicious when someone reaches out, claiming to have an altruistic hope of “just getting to know each other?” Well, most people feel the way you do, so this cold outreach can work, but it is not that effective. Better is to find avenues or ways to force yourself into a situation to meet new people. This could be a face-to-face course, a club or social gathering, an industry event, or any number of networking-type groups that you can participate in. There is no lack of opportunity, just our lack of willingness to actually show up.
Engaging with More Accomplished People
Finally, once you figure out some methods for meeting new people in a setting conducive to conversation, you then need to consider this uncomfortable idea; you should be reaching out to people who are better than you, more accomplished, and more successful. If you take the easy way out and meet people who will do most of the learning in the conversation, you will find this less rewarding. You will gain some benefit, but often you will be giving a lot and this can make this exercise seem rather taxing emotionally. By spending your time focusing on people above your station, you will gain more value for the time spent trying to engage with others. Now, you should do both, but you want some one-sided new relationships that tip the learning curve in your favor now and then.
Practice Makes Perfect
As with anything, meeting and engaging with new people requires practice and experience to be efficient. At first, this will seem stressful and overwhelming, but with enough dedication, you will find yourself automatically defaulting to this attitude, and also, people will feel that you are more genuine when you approach them. So try it; go and meet someone new tomorrow – on purpose.
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