This is not a universally true statement, but conversation usually resolves the issue. I have seen this concept repeated countless times and in my scenarios. My general rule of thumb is this; if I do not know what to do, I am struggling, facing a problem, or having an issue, the best thing I can do is to have conversations with people. When you close up, hide, recede away and turn inward the general result is further isolation and magnified problems. In essence, you should “talk it out.”
What do people mean when they say that you need to talk it out? When my kids come to me with a conflict they cannot resolve between them, my response is to go talk it out. They roll their eyes in frustration and storm away. Yet, a few hours later, they magically seem to have figured it out. In sales leadership, account conflict is inevitable. If you lead salespeople, there will come a day when you get approached by one of the salespeople complaining that another person is “poaching” one of their accounts. You could step in and resolve this issue, or you could tell your complaining salesperson to go talk to the other person first. Chances are, when they talk about the situation, they will resolve the dispute themselves.
One lesson I learned from a mentor was how to handle complex conflicts in an organization. The challenge here is that two parties can be right at the same time and also be in direct conflict. You see, there are often multiple paths to the same objective, so you will find that there is conflict when different people are approaching the objective from opposing angles. Now you could, and sometimes this may be required, step in and make a clean decision. Just tell these conflicting parties the way it is going to be, set up the new rules, and tell them to adjust their behavior accordingly. If you do this, you will get rid of the conflict, but you will find yourself constantly in the position of being the moderator and judge in every conflict that comes up in your organization.
That may be what you want, but chances are this will get tiring. Most likely, you will not even make the right decision several times. Your unilateral approach may need to be a different path. You could opt to encourage the disagreeing parties to talk it out amongst themselves, and this is what I generally follow now. So when people come to you with a complaint, your automatic response back should be to inquire if they have spoken with the person they are complaining about. They will usually say no, so encourage them to voice their concern to the other party because the alternative is worth it. You see, the person wants you to handle it so that they can avoid conflict. Most humans do not like conflict and, therefore, will always seek a way out. What they need to understand is that if you resolve this for them, the conversation is going to be even more uncomfortable. The better approach is to talk about the issue with other interested parties before trying to seek arbitrary conflict resolution.
By letting team members work things out amongst themselves, they become stronger in their communication and start to understand each other better. They stop coming to you to solve their conflicts, and they learn to work with each other in a more cohesive team. This is a culture-building concept: to learn not to fight all the battles as the leader but to insist that they battle it out as a group. There is evidence to support the idea that group sessions are practical in cognitive behavioral therapy. This is because the act of communicating, representing, and portraying issues as they are discussed provides a mechanism for the person to come to grips with and rationalize what they are struggling with. This seems to be the same in any group dynamic; the more people talk about their problems, the more comfortable they become in resolving those problems.
We are often engaged in activities that require persuasion or convincing others. For example, in an outbound sales occupation, you are constantly in a situation of trying to talk others into buying your product or service. In my experience, the best way to do that is to talk to people frequently and often. The more you talk to people, the more progress you will make in your sales efforts. People do not just reach out and ask for your business typically, so to get the results that you want, you need to find ways to constantly talk to people about their needs and problems.
In the end, it comes down to this: communication is the key to resolving most issues, whether it’s in your personal life, your professional sphere, or within a team dynamic. The more we talk, the more we understand, and the better equipped we are to find solutions. It’s not always easy—often it’s uncomfortable—but discomfort in communication leads to growth. When we embrace the process of “talking it out,” we build stronger relationships, resolve conflicts more efficiently, and ultimately create an environment where people feel empowered to solve their own problems. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge or disagreement, remember: the solution might be just one conversation away.
