This is the hardest lesson I have learned in my life. I learned it through bitter tears, toil, and pain. When I was growing up I never wanted anyone to know I was weak or lacked knowledge. I wanted everyone to think I was awesome, and if I was not, I would fake it, then spend countless hours faking it until I could prove I had been right all along. There was one benefit to this approach. I learned a great deal in a short time. I took on big mountains and gained skills quickly. However, I made more mistakes than I care to admit, wasted time I will never get back, and missed real opportunities. I watched people who were honest about their limits receive generous help. They leapfrogged ahead while I hid in a closet trying to learn skills that usually take years to develop. I never became great at any of them. I only became adequate.
By sheer, dogged determination, I pushed hard, worked too much, and overcame gaps. That effort is the reason I achieved what I did. Still, if I had been more humble and willing to admit I needed help, more doors would have opened. My perseverance would have been aimed at larger and better opportunities. Now that I am older I do not have time to play pretend superstar. I know what I know. I remain curious enough to learn. At last I have broken through my stubborn figure it out mindset and grasped one simple and powerful lesson.
You have to ask for help.
Surprisingly, many people are willing to help. More than you think. There are people who have been there and done that. More often than not, they gain meaning when they get to help another person. There are also people who would benefit from your success if they invest in you now. If you grow, you can return the favor, hire their service, or champion their product. If you open your eyes, your ears, and your mouth, you may discover resources right in front of you that could change everything. The obstacle is not scarcity. The obstacle is pride. You have to get past your ego and ask.
