A small question that tells you everything.
This morning, I caught myself asking a blunt question: Who would be in the trenches with me when it gets ugly? I was thinking of missed targets, tight cash, late nights, and public criticism, but the picture was simple. Whoever stays then says more about everything else than any resume could.
The question that cuts through.
Who will be in the trenches with me? It cuts past strategy. It cuts past titles. It cuts past hype. It goes straight to loyalty, to resilience, and to the willingness to share a burden.
When things are easy, almost anyone can look like a partner. When things go hard, you find out who actually stays in business: the person who answers the phone at 10 p.m., who holds the mission when you are not in the room, who can bear discomfort without losing alignment. In startups and transformation work, this matters more than credentials.
In relationships, the test is similar. Who shares the downside, not just the upside? Who takes the pressure instead of redirecting it? Who steps forward when risk is real? In personal life, the question becomes: who shows up when there is illness, loss, or failure; who speaks hard truths; who stands beside you and refuses to leave when it is messy.
Turn the question inward.
Trenches imply mud, uncertainty, and sacrifice. That makes the question mutual. Have I built relationships where others would want to be in the trenches with me? Am I the kind of person they would trust with theirs? It is not enough to find a crowd. You will only need a few.
“Who stays in the trenches with you tells you more than any resume.”
I went back to the moment I started with and let the question sit there, plain and stubborn. The next step is small. Name one person who has already gone through something hard and reach out to thank them. That one call or message begins to strengthen the kind of ties that make trenches mutual.
i will