Today my son and daughter both graduate from college. This is supposed to be a major milestone in their lives, and I suppose it is one for us as parents too. We did it. We got them through college.
Does that mean we are done now? Something tells me this is just the beginning.
I remember this time in my own life. It was around then that I got married, started having children, got my first real job, and filed my first 1040. I suppose the day I wrote a check to the IRS was the day I knew I was officially a grown up. So we celebrate our kids beginning their adult lives today.
I am not sure how I feel about it. Mostly exhausted. Not because of anything they did, but just the time period in our lives. Disruption, chaos, stress, pressure, health issues. All the above, and then you have to go to the graduation ceremony.
I wonder if that was what was going on in my parents’ lives when I was at this stage. I did not have a college graduation ceremony. Maybe I should feel bad about that. My parents did not get to have this moment. They are going with me today, however. They get to watch their grandkids get college degrees. I guess I made up for my transgression, double.
Since I was a college teacher and graduation was required attendance, I paid for my reluctance to walk 22 times, each year that I collected a salary as a professor. Not sure why I bring this up. Perhaps just to signify the significance of the moment. The gratitude to have made it this far.
“I suppose the day I wrote a check to the IRS was the day I knew I was officially a grown up.”
It feels like the day I ran my first marathon. Happy, relieved, but pretty much ready to eat a pizza and pass out. That is where I am right now. Grateful to be here, grateful they made it, grateful my parents get to see it. But also aware that this is not an ending. It is a marker along the way.
So today I will sit in that auditorium and watch them walk across the stage. I will feel the weight of the years and the relief of this moment. And then I will take the next step, whatever that turns out to be.
