I asked the question today, "Why did that person make me so mad?" They did not really do anything that egregious or irksome, but I was upset and seething after my interaction with them. What is going on?
If you are like me, I have a few social gifts that I have leaned on over the years. The problem is that social interaction wears me out and causes me to want to retreat into solitude. I have often thought that I am an introvert who was forced into being an extrovert against my will.
However, it occurred to me today that the reason this feeling of irritation when working with someone happens to me is not that I am being forced into a social interaction that I would rather avoid. The reason is that I am protecting my capacity.
If your brain has learned that interactions with people frequently result in emotional work, obligations, frustration, or cognitive exertion, it may begin anticipating those costs.
You start avoiding meetings, conversations, phone calls, and social commitments. You also may just get downright mean when someone tries to add to your list.
Not necessarily because you dislike the people involved, but because you already know how much energy the interaction might require.
This can become particularly noticeable during periods of sustained stress or burnout.
The distinction matters because ordinary social fatigue calls for boundaries and recovery, while persistent dread, irritability, or withdrawal that is unusual for you may deserve closer attention.
What I think I learned from today is that I am at or near my capacity, and that is the real source of the frustration and not some complete fatigue of working with others.
Please do not tell my wife that I am admitting this, but yes, I think I realize that now that I am just doing too much!
