I learned something today. I have known this for years, but practically I saw the concept manifest. Your intent matters more then anything else. If you have good intent then you will get good results. If you have bad intent then you will get bad results, eventually.
People have built in intent detectors. My kids know instinctively when I am pretending to listen when I am not. They also know when I am listening with the true intent of understanding them. They know your intent. You cannot hide it, even if you think you are. My wife knows my intent. People you know and care about you are more adept at this then anyone else. You just cannot hide intent from someone that knows you that well. Do not even try, it is a waste of everyone’s time.
Recently, I started on a new commitment. Every morning I will reach out to a person that I do not know that might be able to teach me something. My primary mechanism is Linked-In. At first, I had no success. Why would someone respond to some stranger asking them to meet with him? What is he selling? Not another unsolicited response! Delete!
Then I started to get more honest. I just told people what I was doing and why. Guess what? Out of 7 attempts this last week, I got 3 responses! Yes! The magic formula, I let people know my intent. Amazingly simple. One woman that I reached out to, was gracious in letting me schedule a conversation with her and we talked for an hour. It was a great chat, and I learned a ton and got some great advice. We talked a lot about Servant Leadership. She even told me during the meeting that your intent as a leader is the most important aspect of being a leader. Leaders with good intent, do better then leaders who do not clarify or act on their intent. Plain and simple.
I talked to people today and I thought about the intent of what they were saying and what I was saying. Intent is so clearly obvious, that when you watch for it you are amazed at how much the awareness improves communication.
Intent matters in a lot more then just conversation. If you have good intent with anything you do, the results will be better. If you have any intent at all it will improve. If you wake up and go about your day with no real intent, then you will get unexpected results, usually bad ones. If you are purposeful, passionate and have an articulate intent, chances are you will get exactly what you set out for that day.
Think about and plan your intent. Evaluate what you are doing and why on a regular basis. Think about who you are talking about and what your intent is and what there intent is. I can promise a focus on intentional acts for the right reasons will improve your life dramatically.
Guy Reams
