Today is the third day of my 3 day fast. Yesterday was productive, I managed to get my workout completed with the same level of effort and achieved some important goals for the day. Early on, after my workout, I felt super energized and enjoyed almost a manic state for a couple hours, but as the day wore on I was grumpy, hungry, and my energy waned . . . I kept moving forward doing the things I had set out to accomplish.
Fasting created the opportunity to notice the different parts of myself competing for control. This was not some abstract or theoretical speculation about human psychology. This was truly my higher consciousness practicing influence/control over my base animal drives and emotions, a spiritual work out. The stage was set, the conditions were right, I realized it was time for a mental and spiritual workout. Fun? No. Worthwhile and valuable? Yes.
I was uncomfortable, yet I had to work. I was upset, yet I strove to calm myself and adhere to my values of making things better not succumbing to resentment and self-pity. I was tempted to eat by the aromas of delicious food my wife was prepared for the kids, yet I chose to not sabotage or short-change the benefits of a 3 day fast, which I enumerated in my blog yesterday. It was a lot like riding a horse.
Let’s say, I am an “accomplished novice” when it comes to horse riding. I’ve had enough experience to know that the horse will happily ride roughshod over you. The Pollyanna idea of galloping carefree across the countryside can only occur after you learn to control that beast. Before then, you will likely get thrown, or ignored, maybe even bit. Anyone who has spent time riding horses will probably agree. You have to work with the horse, you have to respect it too. Ethics requires you to be kind. However, these happy fluffy goody goody notions will not preclude the fact that you must exert your will over the horse’s. Otherwise, they will simply head back to the barn or off the trail or just stand there while you ineffectually kick your feed and click your tongue and beg the horse to please giddy up. Some well trained horses will be cool and accommodate. Yeah, someone else trained that horse.
There are parts of ourselves, our minds that are just like the horse. And I don’t mean the docile well trained horse. I mean the typical horse. Bad habits and weaknesses will simply head back to the barn, or buck you off if you do not exert your will over them. You must develop your skill, and the only way to do that is to put yourself in the arena and on the horse. Learn from people who are good at riding.
So, the state of mind and “being” I was in yesterday (fasting) is the mental equivalent of getting on the horse and exerting my will. Nope, we are not going back to the barn. Nope, we are staying on the trail. No, we are not going to stop and eat grass now. No, we are not going to bite people. And yes, after the ride we will feed the horse well, and brush it and put the tack away properly and pet the horse and gentle it. The horse is ourselves. We, our higher consciousness can be in control of ourselves. But, it takes practice and skill and self-dicipline and learning. That horse is in us, our emotions and base drives and weaknesses and potential for greatness.
So, consider fasting and see if you can learn to ride your horse. I’m still riding mine right now, and we are about to do 89 push-ups (feet elevated), and we will head back to the barn for a nice meal later today, when “I” my higher conscious self, who has been bucked off many times in the bast will successfully ride this sucker!
Ben Wagner (89)
Member The 365 Commitment
