One of the goals that spontaneously emerged when I asked myself what it is I really wanted came unexpectedly, it was to “grow myself up.” Yikes, who wants that, well apparently I do. So, I’m wrestling with this daily as part of my 365 Commitment; in thinking about how to go about it I realized something.
There is an important distinction between the sub-personalities of inner child and inner parent, let’s say. Both of these entities live within us and, we both live within the real world of real danger and need for shelter and sustenance. It is the responsible (able to respond) adult part of ourselves that manages the real world, that works in exchange for compensation and provides the shelter and food for survival. The inner child is beholden and dependent upon this inner adult, and this provides a real answer to the question of who should rule who in the battle to grow ourselves up.
In describing my inner child I would say he is spontaneous and fun loving, seeks novelty, is selfish, is vital, prefers immediate gratification and giving into impulsive behaviors, and and can’t stand rules. I like this kid, but he cannot rule the roost, he cannot be in charge.
I think that part of the answer I am formulating to the answer of how to “grow myself up” is to recognize that these sub-personalities aren’t going anywhere, they are both a part of me, so the answer lies in developing the Adult part, and in creating a proper relationship between them, a relationship where the adult is in charge and the child recognizes their dependence and seeks the goodwill and attention of the adult. Love and respect should exist between these internal states.
My inner adult must dominate the scene, be respected, and become a benevolent King. It is my inner adult that needs strengthening which is something I can work on using the 365 Commitment. My inner child needs to recognize who is in charge and why. The adult is in charge because we need them to cope with the world successfully . . . deriving income, maintaining shelter, procuring and preparing food. My inner child is cool and all, but needs to acquiesce. Otherwise a battle rages.
Ben Wagner (147)
Member The 365 Commitment
