We have all experienced the first day. The first day of your new job. The first day of your marriage. The first day of being a parent. The first day of vacation. The first day is uniquely alluring and it is a deadly thought. I have been there. When things get going tough, or not quite right, or a little uncomfortable we start thinking of the first day.
I am not necessarily talking about quitting job A and going to job B. Although we have a tendency to think that things are going to be so much better somehow. We rationalize that it will so awesome to start fresh. Clean outlook, no baggage. Yeah, I understand that attraction. You do realize that it is completely false and your primitive brain is tricking you, right? Where I see it the most often, is not with switching jobs it is more subtle then that.
Something does not go right in my commitment, I start to struggle a little. I consequently start having that First Day thought. DANGER! This is what happens. Oh, man I screwed up. Alright, I will regroup. I will think of a new plan and starting Monday I will start again on Day 1 and all will be better. I will really commit then. LIAR! Guy, you are deceiving yourself! I do it all the time. Monday becomes next week. Next week becomes next month. I have a better idea – instead of having a Day 1 thought – make right now Day 1!
That is right! No freaking excuses. Just go get it done. So what. You screwed up, failed to get there, failed to get it right, failed to do it at all. Failure is a sign of success! So awesome! Quit whining and just get right back out there and get what you are supposed to do today. In fact make up for yesterday and pull a double. When? Tonight! Right after work! You are going to feel better after you just do what you are supposed to do and stop having Day 1 thinking.
Day 1 thinking. The ultimate illness of the person avoiding reality. I am guilty as charged. I do it all the time. It is like this. My house is a mess. I have an idea! I will buy a new one. Then I can move out and start new, Day 1, I will have a clean house. Then I can be better. Then I will pick up after myself. Then I will do chores. Sounds ridiculous right? Well, I bet you if you look closely you will discover, like me, that you are doing it in other aspects of your life. How many important things are you not getting to because you are waiting for a Day 1?
Sorry to break it to you. When you go to a new job, the problems and challenges you have now will persist just in a different form. You can ditch the current spouse and get a new one, guess what? Yup, same problems after a few days. You can get a new house, but it will get messy to. You can buy a new car, but you will need to wash it too, just like the old one. You can make a new commitment, but you will not keep that one either. The problem is you. You need to fix you and stop waiting for Day 1 to come to the rescue!
Identify your challenges and hit them face on. You do not like your circumstances right now? Pretend like today actually is Day 1. What would you be doing if suddenly right now at this very moment it was Day 1 all over again???!! What if today was Day 1 of your job? What attitude would you have? What would you be doing? You would not be lulled into inaction because of any preconceived notions, that is for sure. What if today was the first day of your relationship with the person you love? How would you be acting right now? What if we treated everyone and everything around us as if it was really Day 1 all the time!
So maybe Day 1 thinking is not that bad, when you are really acting like it in your current circumstance. When you start coveting the next plot of dirt, thinking that plot of dirt is so much cleaner then your current plot of dirt – I think that is peril.
Guy Reams
3 Days Left to 1st Marathon