Today is Father’s Day. And here I am, again, sitting in a parking lot outside my daughter’s basketball tournament. It strikes me that there’s probably no better way to spend Father’s Day than surrounded by other parents, watching our daughters give it their all on the basketball court.
As I woke up this morning, I found myself reflecting deeply on the most valuable lessons my father and grandfather taught me. My father was an analytical man, fascinated by words, reading, and science fiction. He cherished powerful speeches, poetry, and the beauty of well-spoken words. Explicitly, he taught me to consider both sides of every controversial issue, nurturing my analytical thinking and empathy for others. My grandfather, a lawyer, was an ardent debater, always eager for a spirited argument. These explicit lessons remain vivid in my mind.
However, today, I was more intrigued by the implicit lessons—the things they taught without directly intending to. When I asked my daughter about implicit lessons she’s learned from me, she surprised me by saying I’d taught her it’s okay to be different, to embrace who she is unapologetically, and find people who appreciate her uniqueness. It fascinated me because this wasn’t something I’d consciously set out to teach.
Reflecting on my father and grandfather, I recognized a powerful implicit lesson they imparted: the mentality to “just figure it out.” One vivid memory illustrates this perfectly. I was about twelve years old, and my grandfather tasked me with preparing the tractor to haul some trash to be burned. I’d never driven or even started a tractor alone. I asked him for guidance, and he simply told me, “Just figure it out.”
At first, I was baffled, facing a machine I’d never truly handled. After hours of trial and error—experimenting with the ignition, discovering the battery needed charging, and eventually managing a few encouraging clicks—my grandfather stepped in to finally help get it running. But the real lesson had been embedded: the value of perseverance, resourcefulness, and self-reliance.
Both my father and grandfather embodied this mindset. They rarely expressed frustration or helplessness. Instead, faced with problems, they simply set about solving them. Observing this repeatedly instilled a natural confidence in me, a belief that with enough determination, I could tackle any challenge that arose. It was a quiet, implicit empowerment.
However, this mentality also had its drawbacks. Over time, I’ve realized my reluctance to seek help or advice when facing difficulties. Pride or ego perhaps limited my effectiveness, as I stubbornly attempted to solve every issue independently, sometimes wasting valuable time.
Thus, while I deeply value the “just figure it out” mindset, I’ve learned to balance it by accepting advice and collaboration from others. True strength often comes from knowing when to lean on the experience and insights of those around us.
Ultimately, I’m deeply grateful for this implicit lesson from my father and grandfather. It shaped my approach to life’s challenges, building resilience and confidence. On this Father’s Day, perhaps we can all take a moment to reflect on the powerful, unspoken lessons we’ve inherited—recognizing both their immense value and the ways we can continue to grow from them.
Happy Father’s Day.
