How we perceive threat determines our physical and mental response. For example, if we perceive that someone is persecuting us, and we label them in our minds as a persecutor, bad things tend to ensue.
First, it becomes easy for us to vilify a “persecutor” and justify strong negative emotion and retaliation toward them. After all, someone persecuting us is a serious threat to our existence. The fight or flight response kicks in and shuts down many useful mental tools like curiosity, creativity, compassion and contemplation – basically our thinking goes out the window. We are limited to accessing only the more primitive parts of the brain designed to fight and/or run only. Adrenaline and other stress hormones course through our bodies as if we are in real peril.
Seeing ourselves as the victim and the other as the persecutor leads us to justify our own bad behavior in the name of self- defense against a monster. The Nazi’s convinced themselves that they were victims of the Jews, and justified genocide. The Bolsheviks convinced the Russian people that they were the victims of the rich and justified murdering millions based on economic and social status. It is an old and terrible pattern. So, there is moral hazard associated with labeling others as persecutors and ourselves as the victims.
Here is a better way. Instead of persecutor, think of the other party as a Challenger. First of all, this puts you on an equal footing (more equal anyway) with the other person in terms of perceived power. A persecutor typically has power over and is above a victim. But, a challenger is something you can handle, you can rise to a challenge! You get your power back. The challenger label also removes or reduces the fear factor. It affords a mantle of humanity. When fear is mitigated, our critical thinking faculties come back on line. Our competitive drives can kick in. Someone who is challenging us can provide us benefit – because they motivate us to step up our game, to grow, to improve, to flourish even.
So, take back your power by changing the labels you put on others and yourself. See them as challengers. See yourself as a creator who has the capacity to rise to the challenge. Do not be afraid. A good habit of mind!
Ben Wagner (82)
Member The 365 Commitment
This is good insight, I appreciate the wisdom. I pray you and your family are well.
Hi Kimberly,
Thank you for your prayers and kind reply, you brightened my day!
Wishing you the best,
Ben