I think it is a really good idea to surround yourself with people that are better then you at what you are trying to get good at. If you want to raise yourself to the next level, then spend time with people at or above that level (if they will tolerate you of course)! Take my chess club for instance. Lots of players gather there to play on Tuesday nights. Slowly overtime, the skill set of the entire group has gotten much better, but that is because as the club has become more popular better players have come to the club. Playing against someone that is better then you is the only way that you will improve.
This principle is absolutely true in the game of chess, and I believe it extends to life. This morning my alter ego Tyler took over again. I was whining that my legs hurt really bad after doing some sprint exercises. Tyler got tired of hearing it and decided to force me to run 6 miles at my “tempo” pace. That is runner geek term for the pace you like to run in the race you are preparing for. So I did it and thought I was done for today. That was until I got invited to go for a “fun run” with the local Temecula running club.
So I went running again this evening. I went with a gentleman much better and faster then me. His leisure pace was about a full minute faster then my tempo pace. I kept up, even though my legs hurt…bad. We ran about 7 miles, I kept up until about mile 6 and then started to fade. Regardless, having to keep up with someone better then me, really got me to realize how much I needed to work on some things. As I kept pace with him, I noticed how much stronger his legs were, and how much faster his legs turned over with each stride. Definitely running with better runners will make me faster and stronger over time.
I suppose we can apply this to just about anything. If you want to have better clients, surround yourself with people that have better clients. If you want to be more spiritual, surround yourself with spiritual people. If you want to be wealthy…well you get the picture.
Too often we surround ourselves with people that do not threaten us. That is a bad idea. We maybe lifting them, which is a great thing – however – do not ever forget that you need lifting yourself and for that reason you should reach out and associate with people that are far more advanced then you are. I struggle with this because I do not want to be so conceited to ever think I am better then another. However, an honest reflection is needed for improvement.
If you were talking to a teenager that was having turmoil in their life, and dealing with some anxiety caused by the people they were associating with you would tell them to find new friends. Easy for you to say. You forget how hard it is to find friends! However this advice should apply to us as well. Are the people that you are hanging out with pressuring you to be better at what you want to do in life? if not, then perhaps you need to take the advice you would give to a child. Find new friends.
In high school, I had a really close friend. I am no longer friends with this person. We were on different paths then and now. I remember one day he asked me why I was hanging out with him. He basically indicated that I needed to move on, find new friends, because I was meant to do better things. I did not realize then, but I do now how much a friend that person really was. To realize that someone needed to be pushed out of their comfort zone and to tell them a hard truth is not easy. A good friend would not hesitate to tell you what you need to hear.
We need to appreciate the friendships with have, the colleagues we have, the relationships we enjoy. Not recommending abandoning any of those. However, definitely need to seek out and find people better then you at what you want to become better at.
Guy Reams
365 Member
32 Days Left to 1st Marathon
