So, I am learning about consistency. And, I am trying to build good habits and shed my old skin. These efforts have highlighted how difficult these things are to accomplish, for me.
I have been consistent, consistently sporadic in pursuing such things. Which is not bad – in fact it’s been OK. Otherwise I would never have been able to achieve the modest accomplishments I’ve managed so far. I’m trying to avoid judging here, and not trying to justify anything, I’m just trying to see clearly what has been.
This year, I’ve taken on the idea that practicing consistency, that is committing to doing things every day that I deem “good,” things will lead to a better existence for me and my family. More important than enjoying good results from these actions, is the goal of changing myself. Can this be done!?
I am doggedly staying the course these days, sort of like that marathoner who won’t quit and is still running, crawling – pitifully, after everyone else has gone home. Is that person pathetic or heroic? Neither I think, it just is.
What do you want? Do you want to learn consistency? Then the only way is to suffer though it and do it. Do you want to change? Then you must allow old habits to die and water the new ones. Those old habits of being and mind are like old oak trees, they’ve been there a long time, they are like deep ruts in the road, easy to track back into.
The new things are like green shoots coming up from the soil, vulnerable and needing protection, care, and cultivation until they grow stronger. They can die unless fiercely protected. If you let them die, then what are you left with? Retreat into your old tangled boring forest? That does not seem like a good option. And, today at least, the conviction that I do not want to retreat back drives me on more than the promise that my modest little garden of green shoots offers.
I will continue the race, doggedly. I will focus on the green shoots and water then with attention. I will divert the water that feeds the old deadwood into the new garden. I will choose to practice what is uncomfortable yet good – consistently.
Ben Wagner (186)
Member The 365 Commitment
