“Beyond the very extreme of fatigue and distress we may find an amount of ease and power we never dreamed ourselves to own. Sources of strength never taxed at all because we never pushed through the obstruction.” – William James
There has been a concept floating in my mind for several days that I keep getting close to, but every time I come across it and try to articulate it, the thought becomes lost. It is as if the thought was a scared deer in the forest and as soon as it catches noticed that I am close, quickly jumps off into the forest and is gone again.
What I needed was a word that could act like a net and as soon as that idea started to get close, I would name it with a word and then I would have it. This morning when the idea started to come to my mind, I was able to throw that word and catch the idea and now I think I am closer to being able to describe it. The idea is capacity.
In order to love others you need the capacity to love first. The ambitious idea to love one another is probably one of the ultimate human ideals. I do not think it is just a Christian concept, it seems to come out in almost every religion. Extending beyond oneself is a characteristic to aspire to but very rarely achieved.
But how? For a long time I have just thought something was wrong with me. Perhaps I just do not really like my neighbor all that much. Perhaps I am just greedy and self absorbed. I want to help others, to extend that hand of kindness and love to those around me. However, I can never get to the good Samaritan level no matter how much I try to think myself into it. That is where the concept of capacity comes in.
You cannot really extend out from yourself until you have the capacity to do so. Even Jesus was not ready to take on the travails of the world until he had spend 40 days fasting in the wilderness. You have to build capacity and you do that precisely through the method described by the quote from William James. You push your self beyond your capability in the various areas of self improvement and in so doing you discover the capacity that you really have. You are now able to take on the world. Prior to that, and you are just going to find defeat, because you have barely the capacity to sustain yourself.
Do not get me wrong, this is not an excuse to trample on the feelings of others people, or to climb on top of them as you try to scale the mountain of success. You should always extend a hand when and where you can, but you are not going to have meaningful impact until you have developed both the capability and the capacity.
Guy Reams (290)
365 Member
