Day 242 – Wanderin’ Around

I think I have perfected the art of wandering around. There are times when the structure of life, the repetitive nature of tasks, and the constant pressure of performance start to wear me down. The best way I know to overcome that is to go backpacking in the wild with no internet access. Sleeping on the ground and worrying only about cooking meals has a way of yanking me out of the deep state comma that oftentimes the regular pace of life can pull me into. Unfortunately, I have not figured out a way to afford my lifestyle by backpacking yet, so I am only really able to do that once a year. I have always searched for a way to replace that feeling with something I can do more frequently.

The closest feeling I get to being out in the wilderness on a long-distance hike is wandering around. When I was preparing for a long-distance race, I had to put a lot of miles in every day. At first, mapping courses to run was stressful to me, so eventually, I just got into the habit of running straight out my door and heading in a random direction. When I got to my expected time or distance, I would turn around and retrace my steps back to my starting location. The round trip would end up being the exact mileage and distance that I wanted to achieve that day. There were days when I was ok with just going around the neighborhood, but other days, I would find new neighborhoods, new trails, new bike paths, and other places to run through or around. This eventually became what I called my wanderin’ time.

I can do this walking or running; it does not matter. Lately, I have been walking more because of an injury that I am still trying to get through. As I have done this I have noticed something start to happen. My mind wanders for a while, going from thought to thought, idea to idea, until eventually, I exhaust all open worries. Then, I start focusing on an area that my mind seems to want to gravitate toward. I do not try to change this at all. Wanderin’ time is free time; I do not need to be worried about “doing it right” or anything like that. I walk or run and let my mind select its own path. I will dwell on a particular topic for a while and sometimes expand on that for a long time. Other times, I will not focus on really much of anything. My mind will hover over a few ideas and then quickly switch to something new. Wanderin’ has become a form of meditation.

This wanderin’ time has also started to transcend just “clearing the mind.” It also has become a form of deep prayer as I search through my life’s actions and intent. Trying to sort out if I am in alignment with my core beliefs and values. I can find myself being critical of myself and other times, I can find myself rather pleased with my progress. I try not to judge myself or condemn my actions. I allow my soul to float through the issues and concerns of the day, and if something flares up that is a cause for concern, I do not berate myself for negativity. I allow the concerns to bounce around, and slowly, I start to find some rationality and forgiveness.

During this wanderin’ around sessions, I remember things that I was supposed to do or say. I also remember what I might have neglected or where I might have caused harm. On more than one occasion, I have had to stop, find a wall or rock to sit on and make a phone call – usually to apologize. Other times, I have found myself coming to some conclusion that required some deliberate actions to resolve. In those cases, I come back from wanderin’ around with a clear plan to seek restitution where necessary. However, it is important not to have this exact agenda, I just let this happen when it happens. Forcing your mind to go anywhere while wanderin’ makes the activity not wanderin’ at all.

Wanderin’ should not be stressful and should not have an agenda. If you are tired, slow down or even stop. If you need to sit down for a while, do so. If you want to stop and smell the flowers, then do so. If you run into someone that wants to talk, then talk. If you see an active beehive, stop and watch it for a while. If you see a path you have not taken before, take it. I once spent 30 minutes watching a coyote watch me. It had no purpose; it was just intriguing. I got the distinct feeling that the coyote was also doing what I was doing. Just wanderin’.

Rarely during the course of our normal hectic lives do we get to take a break. When we do get some time to ourselves, we are playing with our phones, scrolling social media, or streaming a show. We use our excess time and do chores or fill it with entertainment. All of this has been designed to focus and captivate our attention. Our minds are not free. When wanderin’, the mind and soul are free. I am only bound by what is going on outside in my city, my neighborhood, and surrounding hills. I suggest wanderin’ as much as you can. Just go out the door and bounce around and go where your feet take you. Having said all this, I will leave you with the song I sometimes sing to myself as I go a wanderin’. A song born of wayfaring, traveling working Americans in the early 20th century.

Wanderin’ by Someone (perhaps Carl Sandburg)

I’ve been wanderin’ early and late

From New York City to the Golden Gate