Day 299 – Dealing with Bombastic Bob

Who is Bombastic Bob? He could be anyone, and his name does not necessarily have to be named Bob. They very well might be named Shelley, as in Sarcastic Shelley. However, there always seems to be at least one in an organization. They seem to have an aura of protection around them even though they do and say outlandish things. They seem to hold far more gravity than their position or their personality should have. His presence is always known, and he always seems to command attention in any meeting. He is always uncanny at his ability to come up with stinging rebukes and ugly, barbed, sarcastic comments that cut to the core. He sits in the back of the room, not so that he is afraid of speaking, but because he wants to survey everyone’s reaction as he throws out hand grenades disguised as witty comments. Months of preparation can be dashed with a single comment by Bombastic Bob, and you are left scratching your head as to why this loudmouth commands so much attention.

Bombastic Bob is almost always a person in an organization that has overstayed his welcome. He should have moved on years ago, but for whatever reason, he has decided to stick around. This is mostly because the job is now easy for him, and he does not have to put that much effort into succeeding in the business. Every time he thinks of moving onto a new role, new challenge, or new company, he realizes how much work that would be. It is much more entertaining to sit around and watch all the others flounder at what he had to figure out years ago. Bob is usually a bit jaded because he has had many attempts at improving the situation around him and all of them have failed. He attributes this to his leadership and all the people who have come and gone as the new leaders in the business. His favorite punch line is always a recollection of how someone had already tried this and how it failed fantastically. Bob should know because Bob was there to watch it fail.

We have all encountered Bombastic Bob as a new leader in any organization. It does not matter if this is corporate leadership, a division, a non-profit, or even your own family reunion committee. There is always Bob, sitting in the back laughing at your attempts to hold a meaningful meeting. Some people make the big mistake of trying to take Bob head-on in a meeting. They will try to go toe-to-toe with him in a verbal banter, back and forth. This is a terrible mistake because this is exactly what Bob wants. An opportunity to spar with a worthy opponent in a head-to-head match-up with an audience to watch. If you do this, your meeting will be a disaster. The only one who will like the meeting will be Bob, and he will probably tell you about it. The best meeting I ever had in this circus parade we like to call a business, he will probably say. For Bob, it was a good meeting because it was entertaining.

The other mistake people make is to attempt to discredit or ignore Bob, perhaps even not invite him. This never works. Bob will rise to this occasion and find a way to get himself invited. If you ignore him during the meeting, he will find a way to take over. He will get people agitated on purpose and your meeting will collapse into chaos. It is also never wise to underestimate Bob either. He has an intensive knowledge of the failures of the business and understands all the weak spots within in the organization. He will have 5 examples of why something will not work for everyone that you will propose. Despite how annoying he is, everyone will defer to him on this subject because he is the resident expert. No one will want to take him on, so they will defer.

So, how do you deal with Bombastic Bob? The answer is never to get him fired. Bob usually has built a solid fortress of reasons why he cannot leave the company. Management will always agree with you by saying something like, “Yup, that’s Bob. We love Bob. Gotta love Bob!” Also, if you ever give a proposal out, you will be exasperated when other leaders want to run it past Bob first. That will drive you crazy. If you are in executive leadership, there will usually be a few reasons why you cannot fire Bob, almost always because he has his hooks into some chunk of the business you will be at risk of losing. So since you cannot fire him or get him fired, what do you do?

The best way to deal with Bob is to get him on your side. This will be painful at first because it will require a few meetings with him where you acquiesce to his superiority. However, this is the fastest way to dispel his bravado. Once that happens, you should ask for his advice and take notes while doing so. Put Bob into the position of explaining what works, what does not work, and why. You will actually be quite pleased that you did this. Usually, Bombastic Bob is full of useful information and practical tips if you can stomach the egotism. Getting his advice is just the first part of this equation. The second part is what is critical. That is the first major meeting.

On your first major meeting for which Bob is an attendee, it is really important to control the room dynamics. Come early and set the stage so that it is not possible for Bob to get into a dominant position. He will try; he knows room dynamics like an Eagle knows his hunting grounds. Control seating arrangements and never underestimate this. Second, and this is critical. Get Bob involved. Preferably give him an entire section of the meeting to run. Have him prepare and get ready to deliver this section, as well as have him prepare the content. Impress upon him the vital importance of the overall message that his section is. Spend some quality 1:1 time with him preparing with him. Answer his questions and get his feedback. Bring him into your process a little. A miraculous thing will occur.

Bombastic Bob will no longer be throwing darts from the back of the room. He will now be in your corner, doing what he can to bring people in line. He will be your chief enforcer and since everyone is worried about his ire, they will fall in line quickly. People will be amazed that you were able to control the beast, and people will assume that Bob agrees with everything you have brought up because he is letting the meeting happen with no disruption. Why does this work, you may ask? It is the same for Sarcastic Shelley as it is for Bombastic Bob. This works because at the core of their consternation is really loneliness.

They are bored. Lonely. Struggling to find fulfilment in a occupation that they have mastered. They are not particularly good at mentoring and coaching people, but will do so if they are put in the situation. They tend to be isolated in their personal lives as they are introverted by nature. They do have a lot to offer but are never good and bringing that forward as they are just wired differently. They do not know how to do the work that is required for emotional intelligence. You view them as a bully, mean, aggressive and too sarcastic. Reality is that the could be a good asset, you just need to know how to work with them. I know this because I have probably been Bombastic Bob a few times in my life, and I have had to deal with both Bombastic Bob and Sarcastic Shelley as well. I have had great success and I have had some fantastic failures. Trust me when I say, getting them involved an on your team is always wise. Look for the one. In any organization with more then 25 people, there is always one.