“How can we sign a contract when we have not even broken bread yet?”
This concept of breaking bread with someone seems to have disappeared from modern vocabulary. I remember this phrase from my childhood, and I still hear it from time to time. It occurred to me that there is significant value in spending face to face time with someone as a way to know them beyond a transaction. This week, I hired a contractor to do some important work for our new startup. That contractor was someone with whom I had indeed broken bread, and I reflected this week on how smoothly the negotiation went. We already trusted each other, and therefore the transaction occurred rapidly.
There was a time in our society when cracking open a loaf of bread and tearing off chunks of it to distribute to guests was a big deal. This was because of what was involved in bringing that loaf to the table. Nowadays, we completely take this for granted. A few days ago, I pulled into a Chick fil A drive through because my daughter was hungry. After we completed the order and loaded the cardboard boxes, paper bags, and Styrofoam cups into the vehicle, it occurred to me that this is a modern marvel. Just consider what it would have taken in the early 1800s or 1900s to produce a fried, breaded chicken patty, a slice of fresh tomato, a few leaves of fresh lettuce, a pickle slice, a slice of cheddar cheese, and two well baked slices of bread, ready to serve. We also had fried, sliced potatoes and a side bowl of fresh fruit, all of which were out of season.
In my lifetime, I knew my great grandmother well. She shared stories of canning her own tomatoes so they could have some out of season. She described grinding wheat, churning butter, and growing hearty fruits such as cantaloupe. The amount of energy and time it would have taken her to make one Chick fil A Spicy Chicken Deluxe sandwich would be astonishing if we calculated what that would actually take to do.
Putting all that aside, the ability to buy bread that is already baked and prepared is a relatively modern phenomenon. Sliced bread was not even common until 1930, and it was not much further back that we did not have commercially available packaged bread to buy in a grocery store. Not so long ago, when a family prepared an entire loaf of bread, brought it to the table, and was willing to break it into pieces and share it with others, that was a considerable act of friendship and love.
When I was in college, I was befriended by an older Jewish woman who took it upon herself to introduce me to various customs in her faith. In one instance, before beginning a meal, she brought out two fresh baked loaves of bread. She then recited a blessing that she referred to as the HaMotzi. This is a long running custom in Judaism to express gratitude for the opportunity to sit with friends, family, and loved ones and break bread with one another.
Christianity has made quite a big deal of this concept, steeped in thousands of years of tradition. On the night he was taken into custody, Jesus met with his apostles; he offered a blessing over bread and wine, and he taught the meaning behind breaking and sharing that bread. Since that time, Christianity has extended this into ceremony and even ordinance. The Last Supper has become the Sacrament, the Eucharist, Holy Communion, and the Lord’s Supper. However, the intent has not strayed far. Christians meet together once a week and break bread together, even if there is a little more pomp and circumstance now.
There is something intensely valuable about meeting with someone face to face, knee to knee. Sitting around a table and sharing a meal, especially one that is prepared in a kitchen, changes the nature of the relationship. Enemies do not commonly share such meals, and so the opportunity to spend this more intimate moment with another soul is indeed special. I would say that this is even more valuable now, when we are inundated with electronic messages and a masquerade of sincerity.
Let this serve as a reminder that acts such as having a meal together, sending a personal handwritten note, or showing up in person when an invitation is extended have far more value than what is seen on the surface.
