This is a big one. This is something that I have discovered that everyone does, some more than others. I have always been good at staying motivated and picking myself up and trying again, but I also notice that in certain aspects of my life I am guilty of self-sabotage. We all are. First question, what is self-sabotage and Second question, why do we do it?
Self-Sabotage is basically when we deliberately engage in behavior that will not achieve our goals. We set a goal and then we actually do activities that prevent, stop or harm our ability to get where we want to go. The easy example is weight loss. Someone might have a goal to lose 10 pounds, for example. However, they will set the goal, even write it down and then that very day will eat a piece of chocolate cake and wash it down with a milkshake. That is self sabotage but it takes more insidious forms than this. It is in our relationships, in our lifestyle choices, in our jobs, in how we spend money. We will deliberately perform acts that derail what we want to accomplish. We do this all the time, it is absolutely a human trait. I guarantee you are doing it right now in one or more aspects of your life and you may not even know it. Open your eyes to the fact that you definitely are your worst enemy.
There are some clear signs that you are doing this. Here are some key indicators. You are seeking for instant gratification, something quick and easy. That is a big one. This goes in hand in hand with the second clue. You are avoiding something that you know that you have to do. You are letting obvious things go that you need to be taking care of. Finally, you focus on negative thoughts about yourself. They are your constant companions. Anyone of these symptoms means that you are probably engaged in self sabotage.
Now why do you do this? There are many reasons but the primary reason is lack of self confidence. You would be surprised to know that many of the most successful people have worries and fears that they are not adequate or an imposter. They often feel that they do not deserve where they are at and will frequently over compensate for that. Self sabotage is born from this fear of failure, from self doubt. Concepts about our own self worth cause us to fear success, fear failure and duck and dive and dodge responsibility for failure. We spend more time worrying about how we will dodge our failures and keeping up with our image than actually doing what we are supposed to do to improve.
You can overcome this. First recognize it and realize that you are doing this and stop it. The way you stop is to spend time on building your own self confidence. When you are feeling better about yourself, about what you have accomplished and what you could accomplish than the destructive behavior will lessen quickly.
Guy Reams
