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A strange aspect of keeping commitments is that it seems easier to keep them when facing direct adversity. Like yesterday when the obstacle in front of me was clear and I knew exactly what I was dealing with. Staying motivated when faced with obvious challenges is tough, but at least you know exactly what you have to do and if you are committed, well then you just do it.

The hardest times for me are what I call the doldrums. The long string of days where nothing special happens, it is just yet another day when you wake up and repeat. Those are the dangerous days. The days when staying motivated is really hard. Sure it is easy to fall off your program during a holiday, or on vacation – but once you get past the “I am doing it anyway, mindset” then you can rise up and overcome the times when the family is sleeping in and you are up considering how to keep your commitment. Yet still, that Wednesday morning, which was just like Monday and just like Tuesday when you just feel mentally tired and just really do not want to do much of anything – these are the dangerous days. These are the habit killers.

So how do you stay motivated during the tough times for you? Perhaps when everything is the same, is a great day for you and it is the vacation or the travel day that makes it tough. How do you motivate yourself during the hard times? Well, I am not sure I have all the answers, sadly. I guess I am figuring it out a little bit. I have kept a few commitments now for over 1 year, and working on a few more. So I have had to figure out how to overcome the tough days. As I sit here and contemplate how I have done that, there seems to be one prevailing concept that comes to mind.

I do not have a choice.

That is probably the single most powerful concept that keeps me doing it anyway, when everything screams no. I simply do not allow myself a choice. I am doing it, no matter what, no matter what condition, no matter how I feel. I am going to get out of bed and focus on my commitment and that is that. Reducing the ability to make that decision, reduces decision fatigue and it sucks, but at least I know what I have to do in order to call today finished. Reducing that decision fatigue is helpful. There are so many things we have to make decisions about, when we remove the commitment we made as one of them, then it seems to lighten your burden somewhat.

Can you get to a state where the choice to perform or not perform your commitment is no longer a choice? Meaning – you already made the decision to do this everyday, so you do not have to sit there and think about whether you are or are not going to do it. You are, so you might as well do it, and try to enjoy it while you are at it. Of course there are tricks, that I am sure many will recommend. I have offered a few already. Perhaps getting your commitments done early in the AM is a good suggestion. However, all of those ideas pale in comparison to the big one. Decide right now that you are going to keep this commitment everyday and do not give your mind a choice any more. The politics of personal commitment is not a democracy, it is tyrannical – so my mind just needs to get with the program, put my head down and obey.

This is a long winded way of talking to myself this morning. Woke up a little grumpy, did not want to do <insert expletive here>. Well, my little punk rebellious mind does not have a choice. It is out on the road at 5am for you. Suck it up soldier!

Guy Reams
365 Alumni
106 Days Left to 1st marathon

Parked in my car, heater is on full blast. The temperature outside has dropped fast. The snow has been coming down for 20 minutes now. The windshields are covered in white powder. I just finished gnawing through a cold breakfast bar. Just finished up tying my shoes. I am putting on some $5 Jersey gloves I bought at the gas station. I just tried to crack the door and a seal of ice made a nice and very cold sound as a blast of wind chilled air filled the car. The snow is coming down sideways now. I can no longer see the trailhead that I am supposed to run on. You see today is my long run morning. Going extra distance today to test my ability to sustain a long race at my desired pace. My calculation did not consider blizzard like conditions. So here I am, I pulled the door shut and got out my phone and started to type this blog entry. Am I going to suck it up and step out into that first freezing blast of air?

Commitment Defined.

Guy Reams (406)

365 Alumni

107 Days Left to 1st Marathon

Epilogue – I made it through my run this morning. I learned quite a bit along the journey – here are some of my mad thoughts while running in wind and snow this morning:

1. The situation is never as bad as it seems when you first start out. It may seem overwhelming, but once you start and get on the path it gets better – in fact it can be amazing.
2. I really look good as a snowman
3. Running during freezing, snowing conditions have many advantages including:
   1. You have the trail all to yourself!
   2. The snow creates a bit of padding under your feet – making for a much smoother run!
4. Bridges freeze first
5. The earth is warmer closer to large water sources, yet the air is colder. Some thermal dynamics going on there? Huh. Gave me something to ponder for a few miles.
6. I finally figured out what Ozzy is saying in the Black Sabbath song paranoid – “People think I’m insane because I am frowning all the time.” Finally! 40 years later and I finally figured out what he is saying. I guess I could have just googled it, but it was fun coming to that revelation while running in a snow storm.
7. The Colorado river really is red, you can tell that when it is against a white backdrop.

Anyway, I believe that if there was any question I have lost my sanity pushing myself this hard to prepare for running a marathon – then this morning confirms it. Anyway – here is to you achieving your commitments despite the circumstances or conditions!

The feeling of worthiness. Dangerous topic for me because it hits close to home. However, the more I get to know others, the more I realize that many people struggle with feelings of worthiness, and I am not talking in a religious sense. A few days ago, I saw a tabloid where someone had taken a picture of Bill Gates standing in a faded T-shirt, old jeans and worn out tennis shoes standing in a fast food restaurant line. The caption said something to the effect that even Bill Gates liked this particular outlet. The caption could have read, even Bill Gates has feelings of unworthiness.

In fact I would dare say, that the more successful a person becomes, the more their ego gets lifted up by others, the more those feelings of unworthiness start to surface. Do I really deserve all of this? What did I really do to get all of this? These are haunting questions that for some are always just below the surface and potentially cause a person who could be enjoying their life to always be second guessing.

Perhaps you are not among those people that feel a bit like a pretender, one that has been faking it almost their entire career  – but I do not think so. I think this is a natural way to think, a deeply rooted thing for a reason that I cannot articulate. Revealing probably a bit too much, my entire life I have always stretched myself and accepted challenges beyond my current ability, preparation or capacity. Probably a good thing, but it certainly has not helped the feeling of unworthiness, and diminished accomplishments. This type of thinking is just silly really, a waste of time, but we all engage in it from time to time. You are not alone in this.

The journey that I have been on for the last 405 days has been a struggle to get past this feeling of uneasiness about what I do or do not deserve. I suppose that successful people hold themselves to a high standard, and as a consequence carry this shroud over them about their personal failures and shortcomings. The path I have taken, through habit forming and pushing my way through commitments has helped me to get past this feeling. Do not get me wrong, I still see very clearly weaknesses, blind spots and a desire to improve. I hold my head in embarrassment at stupid things that I do, say and engage in. I feel like I could do so much more, help so many more and achieve greater things. However, I am not really struggling with the worthiness thoughts much any more. The reason is that in many cases, I have overcome this part of my mind.

Yesterday is gone. There is nothing I can do about it. I only have today, and the challenges ahead of my are sufficient enough for me to tackle. No need to consider personal angst about the past – all that is done and over. I only have the path ahead to forge. That happens each morning as I step out the door and keep my personal commitments. So say goodbye to personal past failures, and the reasons for this and for that. All you have is the fight for today. So get ready. The day has started already and your future self is waiting.

Guy Reams (405)
365 Alumni
108 Days Left to 1st Marathon

We are taught to love what we do, but perhaps we should do what we hate until we love it?
We are taught to love God, but perhaps we should love who God would want us to become?
We are taught to love one another, but perhaps we should serve another until they love us?
We are taught to love the moment, but perhaps we should love suffering then every moment would be filled with love?
We are taught that love is the greatest emotion, but perhaps we should be grateful first then it would not be so damned hard to feel it
We are taught that love will find you, but perhaps that person was just really lucky the rest of us have to earn it.
We are taught to love ourselves, but perhaps we ought to love our future self instead?
We are taught that love makes the world go around, but perhaps that thought makes no sense at all because
Love is not discovered, it is made
Love is not mysterious, it is what you focus on
Love is not manifest, it is your result
Love is not kindness, it is your actions
Love is not a noun, it is a verb
Love is not a feeling it is a direction
Love is not yesterday, it is tomorrow
Love is not someday, it is today

So today’s post is dedicated to motivating you to love your future self, to love what you could become, to learn to love suffering because it will increase your capacity, to love the act of serving others instead of the idea of it, to take action now rather than to wait for something to happen. Love life, everyday. Stop waiting for love to find you and just start loving.

This concludes my pathetic attempt at a love poem on Valentine’s day. Now, I am going out the door to run in the pouring rain because I love it. Well, I actually hate it, but is there a difference?

Guy Reams (404)
365 Alumni
109 Days Left to 1st Marathon

 

It occurs to me that I should actually be happy when I am failing frequently. If you are not experiencing failure, then you are probably not pushing hard enough. This is a tough concept for me to accept, although I feel that it is true. Perhaps there is a perfect balance of success and failure mixture? I remember that a trainer that I had years ago used to say that I needed to “train to fail” in order to see real progress in weight lifting. I imagine that concept is valid in other areas of personal growth as well.

Having said that if you are failing all the time, maybe it is too hard to not second guess yourself. Is this really for me? Am I really doing the right thing? On the other hand, if you are always succeeding, I have to reflect that perhaps this is really not success at all. If I were to pick an occupation that I was really good at, could do easily and I was never under any stress or pressure – then how great could the reward really be? This is when the person sitting on a beach in a tropical location with no stress at all laughs at my blog and says – go ahead and work your tail off Guy, I will just sit here and continue to enjoy my permanent vacation.

Something tells me that this is not going to happen, back in reality, most of us have to work hard at success. We can have temporary success by doing easy things, but those fade quickly and we outgrow the benefits and we are left seriously wanting for more in life. Consequently, our only recourse is to push ourselves. I am offering an opinion that the only way that we know if we are pushing ourselves hard enough is if we fail sometimes.

That is really hard to do. I always want to succeed. I do not like to fail. I avoid failure at all costs, but I am starting to realize that by doing so I have an artificial governor on my ability to scale my personal efforts. If I raise my threshold and willingness to fail, I open up more opportunity for greater success and for some failure. My marathon training has taught me this lesson. I am always trying to achieve my plan, or exceed it. However, as the training regimen has got harder, I have started to experience failure. Moments where I just cannot get to the pace goal, the distance goal or the sustained HR goal for the time specified. I just cannot do it. I fail. It is so hard to accept that this type of failure is good. I am not wired that way. However, it is good.

The more I train to failure, the stronger I become the next day. Doing sprint exercises are brutal for me. I just hate it, and I have been trying a few of them for a while now. I keep failing to achieve the goal. However, yesterday I was able to finally complete the goal that I set out to achieve. My running strength, form, speed have all improved dramatically over the last two months. This occurred because I was willing to fail. I can see application for this in a lot of areas of my life. Take my primary job for example.
My main job if you want to call it, is to talk to potential clients about using our products and services. It seems the more engagements I have with people, the more success I will have in that endeavor – however – the more failure that I will have as well. I just have to embrace that. Accept it. I am going to fail many times as I talk to more potential clients. However, the bright side is that the more failure that I experience the greater success that I will have.

So if what I state here is true, then we should be celebrating failure almost as much or more then we celebrate success!? When we fail we should consider that a mark that we are pushing hard, striving to grow, to excel beyond current capacity. When someone is having success all the time, should we not look at them a little funny and ask – nice wins, but shouldn’t you be failing a little more? Are you really pushing yourself? Your leaving too much in the tank – stop being so conservative. So my thought this morning is that you should be happy with failures, collect them almost as much as you collected trophies in youth sports. Fail to Success.

Guy Reams (403)
365 Alumni
110 Days Left to 1st Marathon

 

Have you ever heard the story of the successful superstar person that talks about that one moment that changed their life. That one epiphany, that cataclysmic event that caused them to flip the switch and everything clicked into place and they were now living as they were supposed to?

They are lying. Yeah, there may have been a moment that caused them to get started. I will grant that. However, 15 days in, 30 days in, 45 days in and no single event can motivate you that much to propel you past the cold hard reality of waking up each day and keeping a commitment. The ability to last the test of time requires more than a miraculous revelation.

My life is filled with my false starts. Days when I tried to manufacture this “moment” of sudden inspiration that would turn my life around. I have a shelf full of notebooks that I started writing in during the prehistoric before wordprocessing days. Then I have a folder on dropbox full of 1 to 10 page journal entries entered in Wordperfect, Word and Notepad. I have a few more notebooks when I tried to start again and went back to a renaissance period using notebooks of various flavors and sizes. One of them is an old Franklin planner insert packet. Yes, I have tried to discover the moment and failed repeatedly. My latest round was the Microsoft One Note period of time, followed quickly by the Evernote time period of my life. As if a tool would actually help me do what I was avoiding all along.

There is never going to be a moment in which you suddenly get hit over the head and all changes and you suddenly become what you want to be, what you know you could be. Sure, a moment may inspire you, but the reality is that the only thing separating from you from achieving the vision of your future self is to start right now and just not stop and you will eventually make a habit out of it.

You then I have my permission to manufacture some story about how you had this moment that turned your life around. You can talk about it on stage one day, and everyone will oooh and aaahh about what an inspiration that was. You will be the divine manifestation of a miracle. You will become the embodiment of the hero in the mythical story that we humans love. However, you and I will keep the dirty little secret – and that is your success really started with you (me) just deciding to get off of our collective rear ends and keep our commitments.

Guy Reams (402)
365 Alumni
111 Days Left to 1st Marathon